Dad of 3 Secretly Confesses He Wished He Never Had Kids — His 6-Year-Old Learns about It

In the depths of his heart, a father of three held a hidden truth: he carried regrets about becoming a parent. Little did he know that this concealed confession would eventually find its way to someone he had never intended to burden or distress.

On December 8, 2019, an anonymous male poster turned to the "AITA" subreddit to share his story. The man and his wife, both 42, had decided to undergo marriage counseling as their relationship had essentially fallen apart after the birth of their 3 children, a six-year-old and four-year-old twins.

A multitude of problems and disagreements had arisen during their marriage, pushing them apart. The man had been working through his feelings of resentment, mainly due to the fact that their decision to have one more child had resulted in twins, one of whom they suspected had ADHD and ODD, and was proving to be a challenging child.

What Was the Man's Confession?

During a counseling session, the couple's therapist had asked the man if he would choose to have children again if given the opportunity to start over, to which he had responded, "honestly, no." He clarified that he loved his children and would do anything for them, but if he could go back to being 24 years old, he would not choose fatherhood.

The man questioned whether he was wrong for expressing these feelings.

He felt that the commonly touted rewards of parenthood did not justify the sacrifices he had made. "It is not the fulfilling experience everyone claims and while I love my children, the sacrifices are not worth it to me," expressed the dad of three.

His life had been significantly happier before becoming a father, but now, he found himself merely enduring each day, working a job he despised to provide for his family while secretly yearning for a different life.

Who Discovered the Man's Secret and What Did They Do?

The man's wife reacted with anger and misunderstood his statement, even going so far as to tell their six-year-old child, "Daddy wishes you were never born," which deeply angered him. He emphasized that he had never conveyed such sentiments in front of his children and had only shared his feelings in the context of marriage counseling, which should have been a safe space for discussing emotions.

The revelation triggered a major argument, leading the man to believe that his marriage was beyond repair. He feared that his wife might use this statement against him in divorce proceedings to obtain sole custody and assets, potentially deceiving their beloved children, whom he still desired to be a father to. He underscored that it was possible to love one's children while feeling that parenthood was not the right choice for him.

The man questioned whether he was wrong for expressing these feelings. He clarified that his resentment was not directed at his spouse but stemmed from the unexpected challenges posed by having twins and a child with ADHD and ODD, which had strained their finances and personal life.

He described the constant struggle of dealing with the child's challenging behavior, emphasizing that it was exhausting and extremely challenging. The anonymous man maintained that if he had the chance to redo his adult life, he would not choose to have the same kids. However, he reiterated his commitment to being a good father and remaining involved in his children's lives.

Finally, he shared that his earlier mention of the age of 24 was not in reference to the birth of his first child but was part of a broader statement about changing aspects of his post-university life, including his career, and his current regret about marrying his spouse.

What Do Redditors Think?

The anonymous poster's Reddit account racked up thousands of reactions and comments from fellow Redditors, who unanimously deemed him "NTA." Here are a few comments worth mentioning:

What are your thoughts on this story? Do you think the man was right to admit his feelings about fatherhood with his counselor? Click here to read another story about a man whose girlfriend says she's pregnant even though he knows he's sterile.