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A couple having a disagreement | Source: Getty Images
A couple having a disagreement | Source: Getty Images

Man Files for Divorce from Wife Who Had Just Given Birth after DNA Test Shows Baby Is His

Junie Sihlangu
Jan 31, 2024
07:40 A.M.

A man wanted to divorce his wife after she fell pregnant despite him having a vasectomy and the pair using protection. The man had made it clear from the beginning that he didn't want children, so he left when he discovered she was pregnancy.

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Three years after a vasectomy, a Reddit user revealed on a subreddit how stunned he was to discover his wife was pregnant. He never wanted to have children, never liked them, and knew being a dad wasn't his cup of tea.

Despite the vasectomy, he and his wife always used protection. Early in his relationship, he also clarified that he wanted his life to be child-free, and his wife was entirely on board.

A couple bonding | Source: Getty Images

A couple bonding | Source: Getty Images

Even before the original poster's (OP) vasectomy, his wife said she'd be willing to undergo abortion should she ever fall pregnant. However, when she ended up pregnant, she concealed it from her husband. She had stopped taking birth control and only revealed it when the pregnancy test came out positive.

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OP believed there was no way he was the father, especially with all the safety precautions they had taken through the years. For a while, he thought his wife had cheated on him, so before the arrival of their child, he took two prenatal paternity tests. But each test confirmed that he was the father.

A pregnant person looking at an ultrasound | Source: Getty Images

A pregnant person looking at an ultrasound | Source: Getty Images

Throughout the pregnancy, the man and his wife had several conversations about how their lives would change because they never planned on having kids. He insisted on getting an abortion, but his wife was against it.

When the baby was born, they had another DNA test to be 100% sure. Without surprise, the test confirmed that he was indeed the dad. Things stayed the same when their son arrived. The man had no interest in being a father, and even after months of therapy, he and his wife weren't on the same page.

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An upset couple sitting in bed | Source: Getty Images

An upset couple sitting in bed | Source: Getty Images

"Honestly, it's just not where I wanted to be, her (sic) and I decided we were on two very different paths with no reconciliation possible. He's almost gonna be 4 months old, and I just recently moved out while we proceed with the divorce," the man admitted.

After he moved out, his wife dealt with their son alone. Her sister sometimes helped, but OP never got involved. The father of one did acknowledge that he would still need to pay child support but left it to the court to decide how much he needed to shoulder, saying:

"That’s as far as I’ll be involved in his life."

An upset pregnant woman sitting alone | Source: Getty Images

An upset pregnant woman sitting alone | Source: Getty Images

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When the man returned home for more of his belongings, his estranged wife looked at him, defeated. She complained about how difficult it was to raise a child alone, saying it would be easier if the child's dad came around more often.

"When did I say I ever would?" OP asked in response. His wife was stunned and couldn't believe what was coming from his mouth. She told her sister about what happened, and OP got an earful afterward. Despite that, he moved on with his life and stood firm in his decision not to be in his son's life.

The woman holding her newborn child at a hospital | Source: Getty Images

The woman holding her newborn child at a hospital | Source: Getty Images

People on the internet were torn. Others felt bad for the mom and baby, but also noted how deceitful the woman was for not telling him she stopped taking birth control.

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"He was misinformed about her taking birth control, and if he is taking the extra step as (sic) to ensure he does not have a child by using condoms then he is not wrong," one wrote.

"Considering he'd had a vasectomy and they were using condoms, I would say this is only reproductive coercion if she intended to get pregnant by going off birth control," another echoed.

An upset couple sitting far away from each other on a bed | Source: Pexels

An upset couple sitting far away from each other on a bed | Source: Pexels

"No judgements. If you were upfront AND you're going to pay child support, you're doing all you're capable of legally and emotionally," someone else said.

"Wow. How is this biased opinion that's literally creating scenarios getting so many upvotes? The guy clearly stated he didn't want a kid. Me personally (sic), I love my kids. I couldn't imagine not having them, but I can see why some people don't want kids. Just like it's a mothers right to decide to have an abortion and not be a mother, a father has that same right," the reader noted.

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A woman holding a baby | Source: Pexels

A woman holding a baby | Source: Pexels

The person added, "He stated many times he wasn't interested in having kids. He went through the proper procedures to avoid it. It happened. Now his ex wife is surprised Pikachu face (sic) that he doesn't wanna be forced to be a father to the kid he clearly stated he didn't want?"

Before concluding, "He's paying child support. He's doing exactly what he said he'd do. It's HER that switched everything up and.is now trying to get him to be in the childs (sic) life because it's more than she thought it would be. OP is NTA, but you sure the [expletive] are."

An upset man leaning against a wall covering his face with one hand | Source: Pexels

An upset man leaning against a wall covering his face with one hand | Source: Pexels

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"NTA. She made a deliberate choice after promising otherwise. You are still on the hook financially which I don't even think is fair. But that's the law. Some jurisdictions allow compensation for 'wrongful pregnancy' arising from a failed vasectomy. You may want to look into this in your jurisdiction. (Don't confuse this with wrongful birth; totally different thing)," advised someone else.

"NAH. I don't blame your wife for going off birth control. You had a vasectomy; why on earth would she continue with birth control which messes with a woman's body. As long as you had your sperm count checked and it was show (sic) low enough to be successful; I don't blame you," stated another Reddit user.

A sad woman wiping away her tears with a scarf | Source: Pexels

A sad woman wiping away her tears with a scarf | Source: Pexels

The reader continued adding, "But if you did not follow up with testing after; you are at fault. Add in that you also used a condom? I (sic) makes me wonder what the truth is here: vasectomy and condom and you expected her to use BC? Sounds extreme. Sounds even more extreme that she managed to get pregnant."

OP's story shows how complicated things can get in a relationship. However, some people don't even go long in their marriage, like in this similar story, where a man told his wife he was filing for divorce the morning after their wedding. Click here to find out why.

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