I Can't Forgive My MIL after What She Did to My 10-Week-Old Daughter

A first-time parent kept giving her mother-in-law second chances even though the older woman mistreated her. Things fell apart when the mother-in-law happily crossed a boundary her son and daughter-in-law set so she could fulfill her one desire.

Posting to Reddit's JUSTNOMIL sub, a married woman reached out to users to vent and hoped to get support and advice about her mother-in-law (MIL). She revealed that an incident with her MIL had left her feeling upset and aggravated, but she wanted to know if she was overreacting.

The original poster (OP) revealed that her MIL never truly liked her, but they had phases in their relationship where they were okay with each other. Then, the older woman would return to trying to control her son (OP's husband) or their significant decisions. Her MIL always tried to make it seem as if OP's input or advice was wrong or she didn't know what she was saying or doing.

The Reddit user said the treatment she got became so bad that MIL's mother told her to be nice to OP. When the social media user became pregnant with her first child, her husband's mother referred to her as "just the incubator."

The older woman didn't even bother checking in on her daughter-in-law (DIL), only her grandchild. OP revealed that her MIL has been itching from before the child was born to give the newborn baby frosting or ice cream, but the couple refused that request several times.

However, the day before OP's post went up, her MIL turned her back to her and gave the two-month-old baby ice cream. The Redditor assumed it was only a fingertip of the dessert and said she knew her MIL did it because she later confessed to her son.

In the morning, OP put up her post; her baby had a runny tummy after spending the night farting and grunting nonstop. The little girl even developed a rash that disappeared after she relieved herself for the second time. The Redditor believed her daughter's reaction was due to the ice cream she consumed.

After that, the child seemed to be fine, but OP couldn't forgive her MIL because she knew what she was doing was wrong or wouldn't have tried to hide it. The Reddit user explained that they didn't want their child having the dessert because they felt she was still too young and worried about her allergies.

OP shared that she was going to research further on the topic.

The couple wanted to be present for fun things like that when their daughter was old enough. OP's husband said he'd handle things, but she felt she needed space from his mother and didn't want her around her daughter—the mother of one worried about being wrong for wanting to cut ties temporarily.

She later explained that she wasn't sure her husband could sort out his mother because her MIL always dismissed his wants, too. After getting some positive and supportive responses, OP updated her post, sharing how shocked she was that everyone believed she wasn't overreacting. At the same time, some pointed out that she might be underreacting, adding:

"It makes me feel so validated. In-law relationships can be so tricky, but I truly feel they need a 'time out.'"

The new parent also clarified that she wasn't biased toward her family because they live across the country from her. Her mother abandoned her when she was three, and that's why she's given her MIL so much grace in how she acts towards her.

However, since becoming a mother, she felt it was her duty not to allow the older woman to dismiss her and her husband's parenting choices. She also thanked those who shared stories of their children's dairy allergies, which was eye-opening.

OP shared that she was going to research further on the topic. The comments she mentioned included people who gave guidance on how the mother of one should handle her MIL going forward with one person writing, "Your mil should never be left alone with your kid. Seriously. She has shown herself to be unfit."

"Your baby could have a dairy allergy, could have FPIES (like a gut allergy), anything. On top of being so young to where [the] baby shouldn't be fed anything other than breast milk or formula. She shouldn't have the chance to be near your baby again. That's entirely unacceptable and your poor baby! She wanted to hurt [the] baby and hurt you. that's terrible," replied another reader.

"She hurt your baby after years of trying to hurt you. You are very much under-reacting. I would cut ties until she indicates remorse for her behavior and DH can handle her without getting steamrolled. I recommend couple's counseling for that second goal," advised a third person.

Reddit users were obviously on OP's side, and some even advised her on how she should proceed now that her MIL has overstepped. A lot of people were just livid on OP's behalf and couldn't believe how the MIL had disrespected her with her child.

If that story had your blood boiling, click here to read about a pregnant DIL who was forced to shun her MIL because of her concerning behavior towards her unborn child.