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A couple holding a pregnant belly | Source: Freepik
A couple holding a pregnant belly | Source: Freepik

Am I Wrong for Banning My MIL from Seeing Her Grandchild?

Vanessa Seifert
Jan 17, 2024
09:10 A.M.

A woman was concerned about her mother-in-law's behavior towards her unborn child. At first, she thought she could ignore it, but she lost her composure and banned her mother-in-law from seeing the baby.

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A woman took it to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for not letting her mother-in-law see her child. The Original Poster (OP) explained that she and her husband were expecting their first child together. But his mother's excitement about becoming a grandmother was a bit off-putting for the Redditor.

A couple holding an ultrasound scan | Source: Shutterstock

A couple holding an ultrasound scan | Source: Shutterstock

Firstly, the OP said her mother-in-law would often refer to her unborn child as hers. She would say, "I can't wait for my baby to be born. My baby is going to be so loved." The possession that she took over her child was uncomfortable for the wife, but her husband told her to ignore the remarks.

The mother-in-law (MIL) had the idea to throw her daughter-in-law a baby shower. The excited grandmother said she and her friends had made a pact to celebrate their children's weddings and baby showers, and since the OP and her husband eloped, she felt that the OP owed her the opportunity to throw a baby shower.

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A younger woman and an elderly woman happy about a pregancy | Source: Shutterstock

A younger woman and an elderly woman happy about a pregancy | Source: Shutterstock

The OP asked if she could invite her friends, but the MIL said no. The baby shower was only for her friends, and she told the mother-to-be she could have a separate one with her friends. Although the Redditor had doubts, she agreed.

The woman and her husband spent a lot of time putting together a registry and sharing it with the MIL and her friends, as she had instructed. The parents planned a garden-themed nursery, so all the items were based on that.

People at a baby shower  | Source: Shutterstock

People at a baby shower | Source: Shutterstock

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The OP was also asked what she wanted on her cake, and she said flowers to go with her garden theme. However, she was surprised to find a circus animal theme at the baby shower. The OP did not fuss about it and thought executing her garden idea might have been challenging.

But she was even more shocked when all her gifts were different circus animals. The OP was confused and even went back to the registry to see if she had gotten something wrong, as nothing from her gifts was on the list she shared with her MIL's friends.

A couple holding a "boy or girl" balloon | Source: Shutterstock

A couple holding a "boy or girl" balloon | Source: Shutterstock

When her husband arrived, he was also confused and asked, "What's up with all the circus animals?" Then he got a look at the presents and added, "This isn't what we asked for." Immediately, the husband asked his mother what she had done.

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The grandmother said she did not like the theme his wife chose. "I'm going to decorate my baby's nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself," she continued. The husband was at a loss for words, but his mother did not back down. "My baby is going to need a room at my house, so I threw a shower for myself," she reiterated.

A sad pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

A sad pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

The things she was saying made both the husband and his wife furious. The OP made it clear that her MIL would not ever see her baby, and she started crying, telling the couple that they were keeping her away from her baby.

Now, the OP and her husband were receiving texts from the rest of the family calling them selfish and blaming them for ruining the MIL's experience of becoming a grandmother.

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Two women having an argument | Source: Shutterstock

Two women having an argument | Source: Shutterstock

People in the comments did not think the OP was wrong. Commenters believed she needed to take necessary precautions against her MIL. The MIL's behavior alarmed many readers; some were glad the OP's husband was on her side.

One commenter even stated: "MIL needs therapy. OP and her husband need to take all of the great advice already offered in this thread and keep MIL well away from their child."

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One Redditor suggested that the OP find a reasonable attorney that deals with Child Protective Services because they fear the MIL could weaponize the system. Another wanted the OP to be proactive and document everything.

Here is a story about a woman who embarrassed her mother-in-law in front of the family.

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