Am I Wrong for Banning My Mom from My Wedding after What She Did to My Fiancee at Family Dinner?

In a heart-wrenching tale, a 25-year-old American man faced a difficult decision regarding his upcoming wedding after his mother and aunts made disparaging remarks about his fiancée, Maya, 24, during a family gathering.

The Original Poster (OP) on Reddit, who moved to Norway at the age of 19 for his college education, took to the platform seeking opinions on whether he was justified in uninviting his mother and aunts from the wedding.

The couple recently got engaged, and the announcement was made during a trip to OP's hometown. The family gathering, hosted by OP’s aunt Debra, 57, took a sour turn when his mother, along with Debra and another aunt, did not share the excitement displayed by the majority of the family.

As the evening unfolded, Maya, who expressed feeling uncomfortable due to the glares from the disapproving trio, confided in her fiancé. The couple primarily conversed in Norwegian, given Maya's shyness and limited confidence in English. However, whenever they switched to English to engage with the family, the mother's disapproving glares intensified.

Concerned about the tension, OP sought an explanation from his father, 55, who dismissed the situation as a typical reaction from his mother when it came to her son's relationships. The father downplayed the issue, suggesting that the mother was merely upset about her son settling down so far away.

The situation took a turn for the worse when, after dessert, OP’s mother, 52, stood up to deliver a toast that left the room in shock.

She declared, “Cheers to my son and his [fiancée], she may not be the best woman for him, but I'm sure he'll realize that once he sees what a [expletive] and gold digger she is. Or maybe she'll grow a [conscience] and save him from [herself]. Cheers."

Feeling the weight of the familial divide, OP found himself in a predicament.

Maya left the room in tears, leaving behind a heavy silence punctuated only by the cruel snickers of OP’s mother and aunts. Unable to bear the weight of the moment any longer, OP broke the silence with a firm declaration - he is severing ties with the toxic trio.

"You realize that the choice for who the most important women in my life is hasn't had you in the running for nearly a decade. I actually love her and would choose a kick to the nuts over you. The three of you aren't welcome at the wedding, and Maya and I will be staying at a hotel for the rest of our time here [sic]," he declared, standing up for his fiancée and prioritizing their emotional well-being over familial ties.

The pair then swiftly left, leaving behind a family divided and a wave of disapproval. As they retreated to a hotel, the weight of the situation settled in, and OP grappled with conflicting emotions. The decision to exclude his mother and aunts from the wedding was a clear stand against their hurtful actions, but it also sparked a cascade of familial disapproval.

Amidst the backlash, OP faced calls from family members asserting the perceived unreasonableness of his actions. They cited his mother's alleged intoxication and expressed concern, framing her hurtful words as misguided worries for his well-being.

However, OP's sister, who had chosen to go no-contact with their mother, offered a contrasting perspective. She pointed out the severity of the situation, hinting that OP's actions might have far-reaching consequences on family relationships.

With the familial divide, OP found himself in a predicament further complicated by his father, torn between familial loyalty and a desire to attend his son's wedding. With many family members refusing to participate unless OP re-invited his mom and aunts, the decision weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Seeking counsel from Maya, OP grappled with the difficult choice ahead. Despite her willingness to support whatever decision he made, Maya expressed a strong desire to keep her distance from the individuals who had caused her such emotional distress.

Subsequent edits to the original post revealed further developments in this family saga. OP clarified that his sister was not siding with their mother's side of the family but was concerned about the potential loss of familial connections, especially with their father, who was caught between his wife's actions and his love for his children.

OP's resolve to confront his father, inspired by the advice from Reddit users, led to a candid discussion where his father admitted to his long-standing fear of divorce and the repercussions of standing up to his wife. The emotional conversation ended with the son demanding his father choose his children over his wife, leaving their future relationship uncertain but hopeful.

The decision to proceed with a traditional Norwegian wedding near Maya's hometown, despite the familial discord, highlighted the couple's commitment to each other and their desire to celebrate their union in a supportive and loving environment.

OP’s narrative gained widespread support from the online community, with the majority of users deeming him “NTA.” One user wrote, “Stick to your decision. And tell your father that you are standing by your wife the same way he is standing by his.”

A second person divulged, “NTA and thank you for standing up for your girlfriend. Your mother was way out of line and she showed her true self. You are not at all unreasonable and don't let anyone tell you that.”

Meanwhile, another one added, “NTA I keep thinking of the quote, ‘you marry a man, you marry his family.’ If I were in Maya's shoes I would seriously be considering running for the hills. I hope you can mend this with your bride.”

In your opinion, was OP right to kick his mom and aunts out and give his dad an ultimatum after seeing how his mom treated his fiancée? What would you do if you were in OP’s place?

Click here to read another story about a woman who wondered if she was wrong for standing up to her mother-in-law for making insulting comments.