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An older woman scolding a man while a younger woman drinks a beverage next to him | Source: Shutterstock
An older woman scolding a man while a younger woman drinks a beverage next to him | Source: Shutterstock

My Mom Is So Desperate for Grandkids She Demands I Accept My Ex-wife's Kid as My Own without Paternity Test

Junie Sihlangu
Feb 14, 2024
11:20 A.M.

A social media user found himself needing unbiased advice from strangers when his mother and ex-wife pressured him into taking responsibility for a child he wasn't sure was his. The ultimatum he gave them fell on deaf ears.

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Some parents can be overbearing, as illustrated in the following Reddit user's story. The 32-year-old man revealed on the platform that he was married to his now ex-wife, Jane, 30, for five years. Their union ended after he discovered she'd been cheating on him with different men for around a year.

When she became pregnant, she confessed that she was unsure who the baby's father was — her husband's or her affair partners. A few months after their divorce, the original poster (OP) reached out to his ex asking to know if the baby was his but failed to do so because he learned through a friend that his former spouse had relocated out of the country with a new partner.

A man and woman holding the latter's baby bump | Source: Pexels

A man and woman holding the latter's baby bump | Source: Pexels

OP revealed that all this happened two years before writing his post and thought that chapter was done. However, Jane recently reached out to his mother, claiming her child was his and asking for financial assistance. OP's ex claimed her new boyfriend left her when he discovered the child wasn't his.

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The Redditor also explained that his mother has been desperate to have grandchildren, especially since his older brother is child-free and gay, while he himself has been single since his divorce. OP said his mother was relentlessly pressuring him to help his ex-wife, with him stating:

"However, I have my doubts given her infidelity. I find it hard to trust her claims without concrete evidence."

A mother holding a baby | Source: Pexels

A mother holding a baby | Source: Pexels

Not wanting to be scammed, he insisted on having a DNA test before committing financially or emotionally. OP said he'd step up gladly if the child were his but refused to do so without the legal documentation that proved it. His mother and Jane don't want lawyers involved or any legal process to be undertaken.

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"NTA, your mother is blinded by her obsession to have grandkids."

The duo insists that the child is OP's, based on the boy resembling his blue eyes, which Jane also has. Things reached new heights when OP's mother posted a Facebook photo of her and the child and titled it, "My grandson." His family and friends who knew about the issue reacted by contacting OP.

An older woman bonding with a younger one while seated on a bench | Source: Pexels

An older woman bonding with a younger one while seated on a bench | Source: Pexels

When he tried telling them he didn't know if the child was his and wants to do a paternity test, they called him irresponsible and selfish. His family noted that his mother was sure that the child was his; otherwise, she wouldn't have said so.

OP's friend even said he was a bad person for punishing his child for his ex-wife's cheating. The Reddit user knows there is a chance the child is his, but he has doubts he can't ignore and refuses to be manipulated into a situation where he could become responsible for a child that isn't his.

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An upset man sitting with his hands on his head near a body of water | Source: Pexels

An upset man sitting with his hands on his head near a body of water | Source: Pexels

OP said he was willing to do the right thing but wanted certainty first. It drove him crazy that many people close to him wanted him to take responsibility. His older brother is the only one siding with him, with OP standing firm on his decision to get a paternity test.

Reddit users were on his side, with one person writing, "NTA, DNA test or nothing. It's crazy to think you'd just step in and take over a parental role based on your lying ex's claim."

A test being done on a microscope | Source: Pexels

A test being done on a microscope | Source: Pexels

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"NTA, your mother is blinded by her obsession to have grandkids. You’re not being selfish; you’re being responsible. Protect yourself and get the test done," someone else noted.

"NTA. You have every right to request a paternity test before accepting responsibility for another man's child, especially after being cheated on and deceived by your ex-wife. Don't let anyone guilt you into making rash decisions without concrete evidence. Stay strong and make sure to protect yourself!" advised a reader.

A DNA test kit and a stethoscope | Source: Pexels

A DNA test kit and a stethoscope | Source: Pexels

Another Reddit user said, "NTA. It’s crazy how you are made to be the bad guy and expected to pay for your ex wife's (sic) foolish mistakes."

Hopefully, OP feels vindicated by Redditors, and he'll stick to his decision to have a DNA test. If you enjoyed that story, this one about a husband who had a vasectomy and wanted a divorce after his wife fell pregnant, will have your mouth gaping in awe.

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