My Husband Complained to My Mom That I'm Lazy - How She Reacted Blew Me Away

Amid the hustle of her demanding job at the warehouse and the draining two-hour drive to work, a woman was called a horrible wife by her mother and mother-in-law for not being able to cook for her husband and clean the house.

A 30-year-old woman sought the advice of Reddit users after being faced with challenges as a wife and expecting mother. What was once a beautiful relationship turned into a horrible nightmare, spurred on by her mother and mother-in-law's insults.

Married for a year, the Original Poster (OP) didn't expect her marriage to go south after her mama's boy husband started depending on her to cook, clean, and tend to his needs. As OP noted, her husband grew up being cared for by his mother, who did all the household chores until he was an adult.

He never learned how to take care of responsibilities around the house until he met her. As their relationship deepened, OP's husband showed more initiative in changing his mindset and being a better man. When they moved in together, he stopped believing in gender stereotypes and treated OP as an equal, even contributing to housework.

However, as their little family was about to expand, his former self slowly returned and worsened as time passed. The OP, who worked relentlessly since the age of 25, was no stranger to adversity. Yet, the recent turn of events brought a new kind of struggle.

OP, who was pregnant, had been working 12-hour shifts in a warehouse that was a two-hour drive from home. Meanwhile, her husband enjoyed the comforts of working from home. Because of her taxing job, she did not always have time to make the best meals and keep her home spick and span.

Her lack of household work made her husband brand her as lazy and incompetent. He complained that she had not cooked a hearty meal in a while and would only prepare easy dishes. To make matters worse, her husband called his mother and mother-in-law about the supposed neglect and laziness the OP had shown as a wife.

"My husband complained to my mom today that I'm too lazy. That I haven't cooked a proper meal in a week and I only cook easy quick meals," she said. "I'm away 14 hours a day overworking myself while he does nothing to help around the house and the few times he does help he rubs it on my face."

Once, her mother-in-law called during work hours, painting her as a neglectful wife and the reason for her son's supposed weight loss. She claimed she would never have let her son marry OP had she known OP was a bad wife. Angry, OP said that her son was fully capable of caring for himself, including cooking meals and cleaning his mess.

A few minutes later, her own mother's echoing criticisms came. "I told her I'm not my husband's babysitter," OP said. "I'm his wife and if she and MIL want to act like babysitters to him then be my guest."

In moments of despair, OP sought solace in the words of her friend from work, only to be met with harsh judgment. Her colleague accused OP of neglecting her role as a wife and succumbing to the influence of online ideologies that threatened the sanctity of traditional marriage.

The co-worker further noted that becoming a wife meant assuming the duties of one, including keeping the household clean and organized, cooking, and caring for the family, including their husband. In the process of her not doing so, she offended her mother and mother-in-law.

However, OP knew deep down that her struggle was not a result of rebellion or negligence — it was a fight for her right to be treated as an equal, to be respected and valued for more than her ability to cook and clean.

She eventually wanted comfort from her twin sister who lived a continent away, who upon hearing of her plight, didn't hesitate to leap to her defense. OP's sister immediately took her side and called their mom to defend her. However, their mother only took things the wrong way.

OP's mom called and accused her of trying to sabotage their relationship because she did not assume her responsibility as a wife and claimed she had screwed up. "She said that if I keep screwing up she won't support me and I'll end up alone so I better watch my steps," OP added.

Do you think OP was right to answer her mother and mother-in-law in such a way? What would you have done in OP's place?

In a similar story, a young woman suspected that her mother-in-law was snooping around after the latter expressed hurtful comments towards the daughter-in-law.