How do I tell my husband that he is no longer good enough for me?

Manuela Cardiga
Apr 06, 2018
10:07 A.M.
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Dear AmoMama,


I am in a very complicated situation and would love some advice on how to go about sorting it out. I am 32 years old, and I married my husband 'Tim' (not his real name) straight out of high school.

I won't tell you I was madly in love with him, but Tim was 27 and a kind and solid man. I was desperate to leave my home because my family was highly dysfunctional and honestly, from the wrong side of the tracks.

I was 19, bright but with few prospects and due to some health problems I was seriously overweight. Tim was loving, and he had inherited his father's house and the family business, a small but successful boutique bakery. He was able to provide a good home, and he earned a good living.


He asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and I told him I wanted to be a lawyer, so he encouraged me to go to college and took out a loan to pay for my tuition.

It took me 8 years, but I got my degree. I sat for the bar and had such good results that I was headhunted by a prestigious local firm. I have been with this firm for 6 years and I've just been offered a very expressive raise that puts my salary in the 6 figures range and a junior partnership.

The problem is that I feel that Tim no longer fits into my life plan. I have lost a lot of weight and I am now a very attractive and sexy woman who gets a lot of attention from men. I am an up-and-coming lawyer and am getting mentioned in the social pages of our local who's who publications.


Tim is an embarrassment at the social events I get invited to. He is just so average. Average looks, no ambition. My boss asked him what he does to bring home the bacon and he said "I make bread, I don't earn it" I was just so embarrassed I could die. 

He just does not fit with the woman I've become, frankly, he is just not good enough! Even his accent is an embarrassment. He hasn't changed. He is the same solid man, he is kind, loving and supportive as he always was, but that is no longer good enough for me.

When I got my promotion he threw me a huge surprise party and invited all our loser middle-of-the-road friends, and was so proud of me, I was cringing.


The truth is, while he was a great catch for the fat spotty faced loser I was at 19, he is now a bad fit for a woman with the world at her feet.

He is now wanting to start a family, and I want out. I don't want him as my husband or the father of my children. How can I explain to him that he is not the man I need in my life? I want to tell him, break it off as quickly and cleanly as I can, but I honestly don't want him suing me for future earnings, so I have to do it as tactfully as possible.

Can anyone advise me on how to let him down easy, so I can get out with as little drama and financial damage as possible?

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