My husband and I have been together for 15 years, and we've had our ups and downs like every couple, and 4 years ago, we separated.
We decided that our marriage wasn't working, so for 6 months, we were living apart, trying to decide what we wanted, how we felt about each other.
After that, we started dating each other again, fell in love again. We renewed our vows and started over. And it worked and we have been happier than either of us imagined we could be.
Three months ago my husband came home, sat down and said we needed to talk. Apparently, while we were apart he'd had an affair. It was short and didn't work, and he never saw the woman again. Now he had been contacted by her lawyer. The woman died, and she left a child, which she claimed is my husband's.
He went for a DNA test and it is his child. My husband asked me to meet his son, and so I went with him to this woman's sister's home. He is a very sweet child, very affectionate. He looks just like my husband.
This boy has been spending the last few weekends with us, and he seems to like me. He hugs me and I look at him and I feel angry because I know my husband made love to his mother.
We went for ice cream, and he held my hand and it was so sweet, and strange to feel his trust. Now my husband asked me to think about taking him, raising him as our own.
I don't know what to do or feel. I am so confused. This little boy is not my enemy, but he reminds me of a time of my life when I was in great pain.
He is a loving, gentle child. I could love him. I could be his mother. But I still feel such anger. I thought my husband and I had sorted out our past, moved on, started over clean; but this baby is living proof that we didn't.
I want to love him, to say yes, embrace this poor sad baby, but a part of me is still angry. I am angry at my husband, and I want to hurt him. make him feel my pain.
Should I say yes? Take this boy into my life when I am so angry at his father? I am so undecided. My heart wants to forgive and make a home for this baby, my pride wants to scream at this man, hit him, hurt him.
Please help me, I feel like such a monster. I need some clear-eyed, good-hearted advice.
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