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He secretly took off his condom during sex and I will charge him with rape

Manuela Cardiga
May 15, 2018
02:40 P.M.

Dear AmoMama,

I am so angry, I want to share my story with other women out there. A few weeks ago I met a very charming man at an office function, and we hit it off. He was bright, sweet, funny and very attractive. So after a few lunches and three dinner dates, I felt I was falling in love with him, and we ended up at his place on a Saturday night after a romantic movie.

I made it clear to him from the start that I don't engage in sex without protection, and he told me he agreed and took out a packet of condoms. To cut a long story short, we did some kissing and cuddling, and when things heated up, he put on a condom.

We started having sex, and halfway through I realized he was no longer wearing his condom and I told him to stop, and he didn't. I was very angry and told him he'd placed me at risk of not only from STD's but an unwanted pregnancy. He laughed and told me that that was part of the 'sport' and he only ever rides 'bareback.'

I couldn't believe I'd let this man take me out, let alone take me to bed. I told him I am going to the police and laying rape charges against him, but he said I'd consented to having sex, and he had not forced me.

I am feeling violated, outraged. My right to decide, to rule my own body has been stolen from me, and there is nothing I can do to punish my rapist. I am not pregnant, but I am still waiting for my test results for HIV and other STD's.

I know this has been happening to more and more women, and though some states now classify this as rape, others don't - which is what I discovered happens in my home state. We need to change the law. We need to pressure the authorities and legislators to create laws that protect us from this new type of rapist.

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

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