logo

My father was abusive to my mother, now he is is frail, very frail. Should I feel guilty he is alone?

Manuela Cardiga
Aug 20, 2018
11:01 P.M.

The following letter has been edited for clarity and coherence.

Advertisement

Dear AmoMama,

My father is a very, very difficult man. He was abusive to my mother and started on my older brother when my brother started becoming an adolescent.

My mother would not stand for the abuse of her children so she took her 3 children away from him when I was 14.

I remember my childhood. I remember all the bad times and the very few good times as a family. So, my father lived his own life, remarried, divorced, had girlfriends did what he did.

My mom raised her 3 kids, never complained and gave us all the love we needed. Now my father is frail, very frail. My brothers want nothing to do with him and I feel really bad that he is alone.

He is miserable and no matter what there is no pleasing him. He lives 7 hours away by car, so a quick pop-in is impossible. Should I feel guilty he is alone? That he has no one? What is my duty as a daughter? I am 51, I have a family of my own. I am so torn!!

____________________________________________________

Dear Subscriber,

Remember that old saying? "As you sow, so shall you reap."

Advertisement

Sadly you father is now reaping the fruits of a lifetime of mistreating and neglecting his family. He chose to live as he did, and you have no reason to feel guilty for his situation.

You are not responsible for his actions and his choices, and that is what has brought him to this place in his life.

Your brothers have already shown they will not get involved, and your first duty is to your family, your husband, and your children. It is understandable and commendable that you feel empathy for his pain, but he is not your responsibility.

Contact the relevant authorities in the town he is living in, and find out if there are any programmes for assisted living he could apply for. That would be an act of kindness and fulfill your filial duty.

Be strong, be happy, be yourself.

Do you agree with our advice? What do you think this subscriber could do to solve her problem?

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

Advertisement
info
Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories!
By subscribing, you agree to our Privacy Policy
Advertisement
Related posts

Man Forgets His Bride After Returning from the Army – Story of the Day

December 07, 2023

Girl Mocks Poor Grandma for Cheap Old Ring She Gifts Her, Throws It Away and It Opens — Story of the Day

March 06, 2024

My Dad Fell in Love with a Woman Who Ruined My Life – Story of the Day

December 20, 2023

Granddaughter Reads Old Diary to Her Grandma With Alzheimer's and Learns a Secret She Should Never Have Known – Story of the Day

February 13, 2024

Lonely Man Wakes up to the Doorbell Ringing, Hears Weak Voice Calling upon Him, ‘Dad, Help!’ — Story of the Day

February 02, 2024

Elderly Mom Asks Son to Visit, He Does 2 Years Later and Finds a Gravesite Instead of Her Home — Story of the Day

February 01, 2024

After 60 Years of Marriage, I Found Out My Whole Life Was a Lie – Story of the Day

February 08, 2024

Fake Cop Detains Poor Woman, Unaware Who She Really Is — Story of the Day

December 11, 2023

Man Mocks Boy Reading Aloud on Plane, Begs Pardon by the End of the Flight — Story of the Day

March 22, 2024

Woman Captures Homeless People for 10 Years and Recognizes Lost Dad in One of the Photos — Story of the Day

February 20, 2024

After Mom's Death, Son Kicks Stepdad Out of the House & Posh Car Stops in Front of the Old Man — Story of the Day

February 19, 2024

Orphan Boy Waits for Mom at Bus Stop until a Woman Gets off the Bus and Shelters Him – Story of the Day

February 22, 2024

After Grandmother's Death in a Nursing Home, Man Inherits an Envelope with Several Dollar Bills – Story of the Day

March 10, 2024

Boy Returns Home from Camp to Find Parents Gone and His House Up for Sale – Story of the Day

December 08, 2023