Three men are standing before Heaven's gates awaiting entry into Heaven. The angle in charge tells them that "Your level of fidelity to your partner and the length of time involved will determine how you cross the bridge to Heaven."
The first man says, "I was married to my wife for six years but cheated on her three times." The angel gave him an old model station wagon and he crosses over.
The second man admits, "I stayed with my wife for 11 years and cheated only once." The angel presents him with a gold edition Mercedes which he drives over the bridge with.
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The last man proudly states, "I was with my wife for 20 years and never cheated on her not once. I loved her with all m heart."
The impressed angel grants him a gold edition Ferrari that puts him in front of the other men right away.
A few hours later, the two men who had cheated finally caught up to the faithful man. But he's crying at his wheel.
"Even if we're dead, things could have been much worse," one of them says.
The distraught man lifts his head and bawls, "How! I just passed my wife crossing the bridge on a skateboard!"
In another story, an elderly man got better results when he was approached by a beautiful young lady at a bar whom he can't take his eyes off.
When the girl reaches the man, he was just about to apologize for staring so intently. But instead, the woman makes him a very appealing offer.
"For $100, I'll do anything you like, but there is one condition."
The old man is speechless. The girl goes on:
"No matter how crazy or strange your wish is, I'll do it. But you have to follow one condition."
The elderly man manages to ask, "What is it?"
To which the woman responds, "You have to tell me your wish in just three words and no more!"
The man is a bit surprised but collects himself and thinks for a while.
Then with a smile, he removes his wallet from his pocket and gives her ten $10 bills.
He locks eyes with her and says succinctly, "Paint my house."
February 08, 2019
February 13, 2019