I’m writing this on behalf of my nephew because our last conversation left me worried about him. He’s 16 and lives with his mom, but after he found a new boyfriend, he’s been feeling neglected and, in his own words, like he’s “fading out of his mom’s life.”
My sister had him when she was a teenager. His father was an addict, and he was abusive to both of them. One day he left and never came back, no one knows what happened to him, and he hasn’t contacted my sister or nephew, which I think if for the best.
Anyway, this boy and his mom have always been close. They did everything together, just the two of them, going out shopping, on vacations, celebrate their birthdays together since they’re one month apart and more. But ever since she found a new boyfriend, things have slowly started to fall apart for my boy.
Is not like he’s upset about his mom having a boyfriend, she has her fair share of relationships. But this time around is different because the man has his child, a little girl, and they’re planning to move into my sister’s house.
My nephew feels like an outsider every time they hang out together; he explained to me that he couldn’t find ways to relate to the man or his girl, and it annoys him to see his mother cuddling with the girl and doing her hair when she has her mother. At first, I thought he was behaving like a moody, jealous teenager, but he’s been getting more and more closed off, and I can’t bear to keep watching without doing anything.
He used to be a very happy, sociable boy, and now he spends all the time on his room, hiding from his mom’s boyfriend whenever he’s home because he doesn’t feel comfortable around him and even though he has tried, he says he’s not “feeling it.”
What bothers me is to see my sister and nephew relationship slowing deteriorating just because she hasn’t stopped for a second to make sure everyone involved in the situation is comfortable with it. She just announced her boyfriend would be moving in without making sure her son was ok with it.
I know most people will say he's just complicated and needs to get over it because his mother deserves happiness too, but I think this is more than just a teenage tantrum.
I’m thinking about bringing this issue to my sister’s attention and ask her to reconsider the moving and first take her son to therapy so he can sort out his feelings. Maybe after being a domestic violence victim, he’s not ready to have another man in the house permanently.
What do you think? Is it okay for me to step in for the sake of my nephew? Or should I stay on the line and watch their lives fall apart? I don’t think I can’t though.
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February 01, 2019