About AM

September 21, 2018

'I gave my 1st born up for adoption 30 years ago. She found me and wants to meet me & my family'

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Dear Celebritist,

I got pregnant for the first time in my life at 16. But clearly, I was not ready to be a mom. At the time, I was living with my abusive mother, and the father of my kid didn’t want to take responsibility for the baby. He even suggested an abortion when it told him I was pregnant.

But I couldn’t get rid of the baby, at least not in that way. I was still in high school and working part-time to afford some commodities since my mom was selfish and made me work for my food. I barely had a roof and a bed, so I knew I couldn’t take care of another human being.

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I arranged everything with a nice adoption agency, and once the baby was born, they took her away. I didn’t want to name her, I only saw her once, and that was it because I knew I could get attached and I wanted her to have a better life.

The adoption agency gave me the possibility of keeping in touch with the girl, and they even told me the adoptive parents were okay with it, but I refused. The foster mom started to send pictures and letters in the first months, but I never answered, and they eventually stopped coming.

I graduated from high school, started to work full time until I saved up enough to move out of my mother’s house and things slowly but surely got better. I won a scholarship and went to college, and to make the story short, I met a nice man, got married and had three beautiful kids.

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Neither my husband or my closest friend know about my daughter. So, when I got an email from her saying she wanted to meet me and she found my contact through the agency, I got a mix of overwhelming emotions.

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First, I was happy because even though I have my family now, I never forgot about her and I’ve always been curious about her life. Second, I was scared because what if she doesn’t like me? What if she hates me? And third, I was conflicted about what to do in regards to my family.

I could tell my kids now that they have an older sibling, but I don’t know how they will react, and the same goes for my husband.

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My daughter was to meet me and build a relationship with me, and I want to do it too. But I’m torn about her meeting my family.

What do you think? Should I be honest and tell my family about my daughter? Risking it all and hoping for the best (but expecting the worst) or should I first meet my daughter and see how things go before bringing the subject to my family?

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

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