'I gave my 1st born up for adoption 30 years ago. She found me and wants to meet me & my family'
I got pregnant for the first time in my life at 16. But clearly, I was not ready to be a mom. At the time, I was living with my abusive mother, and the father of my kid didn’t want to take responsibility for the baby. He even suggested an abortion when it told him I was pregnant.
But I couldn’t get rid of the baby, at least not in that way. I was still in high school and working part-time to afford some commodities since my mom was selfish and made me work for my food. I barely had a roof and a bed, so I knew I couldn’t take care of another human being.
I arranged everything with a nice adoption agency, and once the baby was born, they took her away. I didn’t want to name her, I only saw her once, and that was it because I knew I could get attached and I wanted her to have a better life.
The adoption agency gave me the possibility of keeping in touch with the girl, and they even told me the adoptive parents were okay with it, but I refused. The foster mom started to send pictures and letters in the first months, but I never answered, and they eventually stopped coming.
I graduated from high school, started to work full time until I saved up enough to move out of my mother’s house and things slowly but surely got better. I won a scholarship and went to college, and to make the story short, I met a nice man, got married and had three beautiful kids.
Neither my husband or my closest friend know about my daughter. So, when I got an email from her saying she wanted to meet me and she found my contact through the agency, I got a mix of overwhelming emotions.
First, I was happy because even though I have my family now, I never forgot about her and I’ve always been curious about her life. Second, I was scared because what if she doesn’t like me? What if she hates me? And third, I was conflicted about what to do in regards to my family.
I could tell my kids now that they have an older sibling, but I don’t know how they will react, and the same goes for my husband.
My daughter was to meet me and build a relationship with me, and I want to do it too. But I’m torn about her meeting my family.
What do you think? Should I be honest and tell my family about my daughter? Risking it all and hoping for the best (but expecting the worst) or should I first meet my daughter and see how things go before bringing the subject to my family?
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