Doctor examines his 80-year-old patient and marvels at his fitness

Getting older can be a challenge to some, and a wonderful adventure to others, especially if they embrace life's little surprises.

A retired man went to the social security offices to apply for his Social Security pension.

The office was packed and he waited in line for hours, before he got to the counter. He greeted the woman behind the counter politely and explained what he was there for.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age before she could process his request. 

The man reached for his wallet and realized he'd left it at home. He apologized to the woman and explained his plight. 

“Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asked.

“Unbutton your shirt.” ordered the woman.

The man complied, revealing lots of curly silver chest hair.

“That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” said the woman, and processed his Social Security pension application.

The man got home and was thrilled to tell his wife all about his experience at the Social Security office.

When he finished telling his story his wife commented: “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too!”


A doctor examines a new patient, a spry octagenarian who proves to be as hale and healthy as a 50-year-old.

Amazed with his energy and physical condition, the asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?”

"I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old man” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of wine, and all is well.”

“Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?”

”Who said my Dad’s dead?”

“You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?” asks the astounded doctor.

“He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact, he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the nudist beach for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.”

“Great” cried the doctor, “But I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa’s dead?”

“You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible," gasped the doctor, and asked: "So how old is he?”

“He’s 118 years old,” said the old Italian golfer.

The doctor raises an eyebrow and asked sarcastically; “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?”

“No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today,” replied the man.

“Getting married!" exclaimed the doctor, "Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?”

”Who said he wanted to?"

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