Husband asked wife where she wanted to go for their anniversary
Late Richard “Red Skelton” was a radio and television comedian who became one of America’s most beloved, and his hilarious views on marriage are still as enjoyable as ever.
Skelton, who left us in 1997, became a household name after having his own show on TV from 1951 to 1971, and from it he shared his “rules” for a perfect marriage that we are bringing to you today for your amusement, via Bored Daddy.
13 RULES FOR A PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said… ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’
8. She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’
If you enjoyed these funny tips, and want to keep laughing to help you go through your day, here are a couple of jokes for you to check out.