December 06, 2018
A teacher shared a little girl's delightfully amusing description of her brother's birth. Here's what happened when the teacher heard her story.
An elementary school teacher hosting a show-and-tell for her second-grade class expected the usual stories built around the children's favorite toys or pets.
However, was shocked when a sweet-faced little girl, Erica stood, up and shared a unusual story. Erica had a pillow stuffed under her sweater and was carrying a photograph of a baby as she walked in front of the class.
“This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love," she said. "Then Daddy put a seed inside mommy's stomach, and Luke grew inside. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.”
Already quite shocked, the teacher continued listening as Erica placed her hands behind her back and mimicked labor pains. Erica continued:
“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother yelled, ‘Oh, oh, oh!' She walked around the house for, like an hour, and kept shouting."
"My daddy called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my mother to lay down in bed like this,” she added as she lay down and placed her hands on her pillow-inflated tummy. She continued to narrate:
“And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew !”
Erica parted her legs and mimicked the water flowing out. She continued: “Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past 10."
"Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there,” she finally said.
Erica finished her presentation with a bow and walked off to riotous applause especially from her teacher who vowed to bring a camcorder to every show-and-tell from now on in case another child tells a story as hilarious as Erica's
LITTLE JOHNNY'S HOMEWORK
Johnny came home after an ordinary day at school. His mom waited for him by the curb, and as soon as he hopped off the school bus, he asked: “Mom, how was I born?”
Susan froze for a second, realizing that her son finally popped the question on the birds and the bees. She recalled her plan with her husband. “Sweetheart, it was the stork that brought you here. We were so excited when that day finally came,” answered Susan while smiling.
Johnny stared blankly and decided to ask her mom how she was born. Naturally, she had the same answer. The young and curious boy was persistent, asking about the birth of his uncle George, auntie Ruth, and most of his cousins, to which his mom replied the same answer.
Yet again, he asks about his grandfather and grandmother. Susan grew quite impatient, answering Johnny: “Honey, I told you, we were all from the stork.” Johnny kept quiet this time, finished his food, and went upstairs for a quick afternoon nap.
As soon as his father, Peter, came home, Johnny sprinted down, asking his father how he was born. Susan gave a quick nod to her husband. “Well, champ, a stork brought me to grandma and grandpa’s house many years ago,” answered Peter.
“Well, what about Uncle Steve and his wife?” asked Johnny. “The same goes for him, son; both he and your aunt were brought in by the stork too.” Determined to arrive at a different answer, Johnny asked about his cousins on that side of the family.
Nevertheless, his father simply gave him a singular answer. Seemingly upset, Johnny went back up to his room and never asked about childbirth again. About a week later, Peter and Susan got a notice from Johnny’s teacher.
The formal notice highlighted a discussion about Johnny’s reluctance over a particular assignment. Worried, both met with the teacher as soon as possible.
The educator handed them over Johnny’s paper which read: “This paper on childbirth is very difficult to write. For nearly three generations, there has been no record of childbirth within my family.”
For more laughter, find out what questions a curious daughter asked her father at random.
February 13, 2019