10 hilarious jokes no one is too old to laugh at
If you’re having a bad day, these 10 jokes will surely lighten up your mood.
1. When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!” Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” And then disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
2. Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
3. My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy.”
The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life.
4. There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people on board, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd.
The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” Grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps.
The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” Grabs a pack, and jumps.
The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.”
The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”
6. And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
7. There is a thin line between death and life. You won’t live to see it. The Cardiogram will!
8. If life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.
9. What does a glass of water ask a pond? “Water you doing?” What does the pond answer? “Pondering life.”
10. What do you call a single bisexual? All bi myself.
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Source: Worst Jokes Ever