Joke: Farmer Secretly Takes His Rooster to the Cinema
Pretty much everyone has heard of assistance dogs, but what about a person who takes his rooster everywhere?
A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and watch a movie. The ticket agent asked,
“Sir, what's that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said, "that's my pet rooster, Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes."
"I'm sorry sir," said the ticket agent. "We can't allow animals in the theatre."
The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed Chuck down his overalls. Then, he returned to the booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theatre. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.
The movie started, and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer unbuttoned his fly so Chuck could stick his head out and watch the film.
"Marge," whispered Mildred. "What?" said Marge.
"I think the guy next to me is a pervert." Marge asked, "what makes you think so?"
"He undid his pants, and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred.
"Well, don't worry about it," said Marge. "At our age, we've seen 'em all."
"I thought so too," said Mildred, "but this one's eating my popcorn!"
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything, talked about everything, and had kept no secrets from each other except for the shoe box in the top of the closet that the lady had.
To make sure that the man wouldn’t do anything with it, she cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about it. Throughout their years together, he had never thought about the box, but one day the old woman got very sick, and the doctor said she would not recover.
While trying to sort out their affairs, the old man took down the shoe box and placed it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time for him to know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. Shocked, he requested an explanation.
“When we were to get married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was never to argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
The old man was so moved that he had to fight back the tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had been angry with him twice in all those years of living together.
“Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what about all this money? Where did it come from?”
“Oh,” she said, “that's the money I made from selling the other dolls.”