February 27, 2019
Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house.
Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising.
"THE LORD WILL PROVIDE"
Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them.
"No, thank you," Mrs. Watkins replied. "The Lord will provide."
The men shrugged and rowed on.
By evening, the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety. She was spotted by a man in a motorboat, who offered to pick her up.
"Don’t trouble yourself," she told him. "The Lord will provide."
Pretty soon, Mrs. Watkins had to seek refuge atop the chimney. When a Red Cross cutter came by on patrol, she waved it on, shouting, "The Lord will provide."
So the boat left, the water rose and the old woman drowned. Dripping wet and thoroughly annoyed, she came through the pearly gates and demanded to speak to God.
"What happened?" she cried.
"For cryin’ out loud, lady," God said, "I sent three boats!"
Another story that will make you laugh is about a woman who died and went to heaven. Read the full story below:
A woman has a heart attack. Sadly she dies and goes to heaven, where she comes face to face with God.
“Am I dying?” she asks him.
“No,” God replies. “You will live for another 40 years, two months and eight days.”
Instantly she snaps back to life and, after her near-death experience, vows to make the most of her life.
She changes the color of her hair, gets a facelift and even has a tummy tuck.
After her final surgery, she walks out and gets hit by a car and dies. When she goes back to heaven and meets God again, she’s steaming.
“What was that!?” she asks.
“What?” God responds, “You died.”
“You said I would live another 40 years!”
“Oh.” God thought for a while… “I didn’t recognize you.”
Please share these jokes for your loved ones who might need a good laugh today!
February 28, 2019