Joke: Man Receives an Annoying Call from a Telemarketer

Cheryl Kahla
Mar 27, 2019
11:42 P.M.
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Telemarketers often call at the most inconvenient time. It's quite frustrating and they hardly ever take no for an answer. 

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Next time that happens, take note of this man's book! He simply got fed up with receiving unsolicited calls and had some fun with it instead. 

TOM HAD ENOUGH

Tom Mabe: “Hello?”

Telemarketer: “Yes, can I speak with Tom Mabe?”

Call centre employings. Photo: Shutterstock

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Tom Mabe: “Who’s calling?”

Telemarketer: “This is Mike. You have been selected to receive a complete digital satellite system for free. With this, you’re going to-”

Tom Mabe: “Let me ask you something. Did you know Tom Mabe? Were you a friend of his?”

Mike: “No I’m not. I’m just calling to offer-”

Tom Mabe: “Hol-hol-hold that thought, hold on a second," (Tom says to others in the room: "Hey guys! Get really good pictures of the body… and dust everything for prints.") "Mike, you there?”

Mike: “Yeah…”

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Tom Mabe: “Yeah, lemme bring you up to speed. You’ve actually called a murder scene. Mr. Mabe is no longer with us. I’m Officer Clarke; I’m conducting a homicide investigation. I want to ask you a series of questions… First of all, what was the nature of the business you had with Tom Mabe?”

Man talking on phone: Photo: Shutterstock

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Mike: “I had no business with him. I’m sorry to have bothered, I only..."

Tom Mabe: "No no no hang on, I’m going to ask you to stay on the phone. This call has already been traced, and we may need to come in for further questioning.”

Mike: “You don’t understand, I’m just calling to...”

Tom Mabe: “No, you don’t understand. Unless you want to be charged with Obstruction of Justice, it is imperative that you stay on the line, Mike.”

Mike: “How about you just talk to my supervisor?”

Police officer taking notes. Photo: Shutterstock

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Tom Mabe: “No, we will get to your supervisor in a second. First, gimme your whereabouts.”

Mike: “I’m at work.”

Tom Mabe: “You’re at work?”

Mike: “Yes.”

Tom Mabe: “Are you trying to be smart?”

Mike: “No sir, I...”

Tom Mabe: “Lemme put it to you this way, Mike. Say I want to mail you a letter. What would I have to write on the outside of that envelope to ensure that the mailman will deliver it right to you? Geographically speaking, Mike, where is work?”

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Mike: “40 West Street, Middleton, Colorado.”

Tom Mabe: “Michael, hold on one sec, alright?”

Mike: “Yes sir.”

Tom Mabe: “(off phone to cops) Get the Middleton Homicide Department on the phone. Yeah, give them this information. Tell them there been a Talk In Connection with a fatal shooting and aggravated robbery.” (on phone) “Mike, how did you know Mr. Mabe again?”

Mike: “Wait, you're calling the Middleton Police Department? I’m hundreds of miles away! I don’t even know the guy. I’m in Colorado!

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Tom Mabe: “OK, and tell me again what, where were you last night between the hours of 8 and 10?”

Mike: “I’m not feeling really comfortable with any of this…”

Tom: “Have you even ever spoken to Mr. Mabe, Mike?”

Man talking on a phone. Photo: Shutterstock

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Mike: “No, I don’t even know the guy. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

Tom Mabe: “Ok, great, just calm down, hold on, look, just back up. I’ve got just one more question for you, Mike, as you well know, I’m sure, Mr. Mabe was gay. And there is no easy way of asking this; I don’t wanna embarrass you or nothin’ but, were you his gay lover?"

Mike: "What? No! What kind of question is that?"

Tom Mabe: "Look look, if gay is your way, that’s ok. I still know there are a lotta you gay people in that closet. Not sayin’ I haven’t thought ’bout it myself. Do you know? Go out to Las Vegas, or somethin’. Buy a couple o’ drinks, you know…”

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Mike: “This is ridiculous! ”

Mike hangs up.

Tom Mabe: “Hello?”

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