Wife Asks for Advice as She Feels Her Husband's Drinking 'Is Destroying Their Relationship'
Consequences always follow when substance abuse like that of alcohol enters a relationship. With this in mind, a woman recently asked for advice as her husband’s “out of control” drinking drove her to feelings of leaving him.
“Needing advice, please. My husband drinking is getting out of control, and I feel like leaving him,” a woman began her post on Mumsnet on May 27, 2019.
Without giving any personal information, the woman told how her husband’s drinking got “out of control” since they moved into a new neighborhood.
With pubs within walking distance, he started drinking more than he used too, and in spite of numerous promises to cut down on drinking, her husband’s drinking only got worse over time.
“When he goes out most times straight after work he gets so drunk he has to be carried home from the pub in early hours, he causes arguments with me which I have now learned to ignore, a few occasions he has fallen when walking home and injured himself,” she wrote.
After a recent night out, having caused a fight, her husband landed in the hospital with a smashed ankle broken in three places.
To her, that became the last straw, but she still faced a personal “dilemma” in the sense of when to leave him as she elaborated, “He has no phone, money, cigs and needs PJ's and toothbrush, etc. I feel like just leaving him there with nothing and letting him feel the brunt of his actions. Am I cruel to want to leave him in the hospital with nothing or do I stand by him.”
While she still seemed to be in two minds regarding her situation, another woman recently revealed her resolve in leaving her drunken husband for the sake of their children.
The 33-year-old stay-at-home-mum from Surrey provided fake names to keep their identities hidden but shared with The Sun how she had been plotting for months to leave her husband who she met at 19 years of age.
Like many women, she didn’t realize how much of a problem her husband’s drinking was until she could no longer ignore it. Even then, she believed him every time he’d promise things to be better.
After the birth of their first child, he spent the first few days “wetting the baby’s head,” and when infected stitches shortly after caused her to lose a lot of blood, he refused to get her help out of drunkenness.
“I stayed in the hospital for another week with Jacob, but Patrick barely visited. When he did, he reeked of booze. While I was lying in the hospital, I wondered whether I’d made a huge mistake having a baby with a man who clearly put drink before his family,” she said.
When she tried to talk to her mother-in-law, she claimed that her son didn’t have a drinking problem and that she was overreacting. However, a few months later, while they visited friends with ten-month-old Jacob, the extent of his drinking problem became evident to everyone.
Patrick had polished about his 10th bottle of beer when he decided to try and balance Jacob on a washing line, which ended with Jacob crashing to the ground, luckily unharmed.
He begged her to stay and said he would get help, and while he did both, for the most part, their calmer life didn’t last. The drinking started again, but it wasn’t until she realized how it affected their children that her decision to leave him became resolute.
“For the last two years, I’ve been secretly siphoning money out of our joint account into a personal one Patrick knows nothing about,” she said of her plan to leave Patrick. “He’s not suspicious at all as he trusts me to look after the money, but it’s my escape fund to set the boys and me up with a new life. I’ve got £5,000 saved at the moment, but when I have £8,000, I’m leaving.”
Deciding to leave an alcoholic spouse, especially when children are involved is a wise choice made by any mother. Statistics show that children that grow up with an alcoholic parent are at a higher risk of developing AUD (Alcholol use Disorder).
The disease can even bring violence into the home, which makes for an unpredictable and unsafe environment for anyone involved.
The spouse, on the other hand, experiences psychological distress while trying to cope with the situation and compensates in emotionally and mentally unhealthy ways. Meanwhile, the alcoholic spouse continues on the path of destruction.
While the path of destruction includes the breakdown of trust, communication, intimacy, and possibly finances as well, Palm Beach Institute offers help to those with marital problems caused by alcohol. For a free consultation, they can be reached at 1-855-534-3574.
Relatedly, in November 2018, a tragic situation in Texas showed what circumstances could be brought about by alcoholism.
In self-defense, a 22-year-old son killed his “alcoholic father” after he attacked his mother in a drunken rage.