Joke: Clueless Husband Reports That His Wife Is Missing, and She Has His Car

Priorities appear to be different for everyone. Where one person might prioritize their spouse, children, career, or education, another may put something else first instead. The fellow in this next joke had his priorities firmly in check.

A husband went to the police station to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: "My wife is missing! She drove off to do some shopping yesterday and has not come home…I'm really worried!" 

Sergeant: "What is her height?"

Husband: "Gee, I’m not really sure. About five-feet four-inches."

Sergeant: "Weight?" Husband: "I don’t know. Not slim, not really fat either."

Police Station. | Source: David Mark/Pixabay

Police Station. | Source: David Mark/Pixabay

Sergeant: "What's the color of her eyes?"

Husband: "Never really noticed, perhaps brown or green."

Sergeant: "Color of hair?"

Husband: "It changes a couple of times a year. Maybe dark brown now."

Sergeant: "What was she wearing?"

Husband: "She's usually in a skirt or slacks and a blouse or polo top. I don’t remember exactly."

Sergeant: "What kind of car was she driving?"

Husband: "She took my sports coupe."

Sergeant: "What kind of sports coupe was it?"

Husband: "It's a Mercedes-Benz CL65 AMG 7G-Tronic finished In Magnetite Black Metallic with Black Soft-Leather Electrically Adjustable and Heated AMG Front Sport Seats with Memory; it has a Brushed Aluminium trim with Piano Black Cappings; Unmarked 19″ AMG Multispoke Alloy Wheels; Tyre Pressure Monitoring; Panoramic Glass Electric Tilt/Slide Sunroof; COMAND Online with HDD Wide Screen Satellite Navigation; Bluetooth Telephone Connectivity; Multi-Media Interface for MP3, iPod, etc."

Interior of a Mercedes Benz AMG. | Source: MikesPhotos/Pixabay

Interior of a Mercedes Benz AMG. | Source: MikesPhotos/Pixabay

"It has a Superb Sound System with DAB and Harman-Kardon Sound Upgrade; Leather-Trimmed AMG Multi-Function Steering Wheel with Paddle Shift; Parktronic Front and Rear Parking Sensors; Parking Assist; Attention Assist; Speed Limit Assist; Electrically adjustable, heated door Mirrors with Powerfold; Electrically Adjustable Steering Column; Bi-Xenon Headlights with Powerwash and Auto Activation; LED Daytime Running Lights; Cruise Control; Rear Privacy Glass; AMG Carpet Overmats…"

At this point, the husband starts choking up…The concerned Sergeant pats him on the back:

"Don’t worry, mate. We’ll find your car…"

We definitely know what this guy's priorities are! Do you have a spouse like this? Share this joke with your friends and see how many of them can relate. 

In a heartwrenching story, a man with a criminal history pretended to be a family's missing boy, Timmothy Pitzen, who vanished in 2011.

Timmothy disappeared under mysterious circumstances following the discovery of his mother’s body after she committed suicide. Amy Pitzen had picked her son up from school and left notes saying he would never be found.

Amy and Timmothy Pitzen. | Source: YouTube/ CBSN

Amy and Timmothy Pitzen. | Source: YouTube/ CBSN

In April 2019, a “bruised and skinny” young man was found wandering the streets and told police that he was the missing person and had just escaped from his kidnappers on foot.

Unfortunately for the family, DNA test results proved that he was not their long lost child but instead a serial convict named Brian Michael Rini.

The family and police have vowed to continue their search for Timmothy and refuse to give up hope of finding him alive.