Widow Gives a Caustic Response to a Friend's Question about Her New Husband

This time we bring to you not one but to jokes about widows and widowers, because there is not a single subject that isn’t susceptible to humor, as you are about to confirm.

Losing a life partner is a very challenging thing to endure, but as humans, we have to approach this delicate subject with humor as a tool to better cope with the natural cycle of life, and jokes are there to offer us another perspective on things.

We selected these two from Mr. Funny’s extensive list. We were immediately taken by the two widows in the respective jokes, both displaying a remarkable wit that made us laugh out loud as we are sure you will as well.

HOW TO STOP A WIDOWER FROM TALKING ABOUT HIS LATE WIFE

A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage, she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked, “I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?”

“Oh, not anymore, he doesn’t,” the other replied. “What stopped him?” her friend went on to ask, to what she answered, “I started talking about my next husband.”   

A GOOD CHRISTIAN

There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.

One day, the man fell ill. He was told by the doctors that he didn’t have long to live. After finding out, the first thing he told his wife was, “Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. Because I want to take all my money to the afterlife.”

“I promise”, said his wife, who would now face a very poor life as a widow. A short time later, the husband passed away. The funeral took place at their local church.

He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her best friend.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, “Wait a minute!” She had a shoebox with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away. Her friend asked her, “What was that shoe box?” The widow replied, “He wanted to be buried with all his money, so I put it in there.”

“Are you crazy?! You buried that cheapskate with all his fortune?”  “Yes, I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I would put that money in that casket with him,” was her answer.

“But he was rich, how did it all manage to fit inside that shoebox?” “Well, that was a problem,” said the wife. “So I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.”  

BACK TO DATING

What happens when a woman in her mature years misses having a companion after having lost her husband years before?

The widow of this other story we previously featured figured that the best way for her to hunt for a new lover was putting an ad in a newspaper, but she never expected who was going to be the first person to show up.

“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants, please apply in person,” the hopeful woman wrote in the ad.

Click on this LINK if you want to know how the hilarious story ends.