One kid joined the United States Marine Corps and the parents waited excitedly to receive the first letter sent home from the academy telling them how their child was doing adapting to the harsh life of the military barracks.
It is well known that the training of the Marines is one of the most demanding of the Army, not in vain are the Elite Corps with the biggest fame! Let’s read this letter carefully:
Dear Pa and Ma:
I hope both are well. I'm fine. Please tell my brother Walt and my brother Elmer that the Marine Corps its nothing compared to work with Old Mitch from far. Please tell them to come quickly before there are no more available places.
At first, I was nervous because you can stay in bed until almost 6 a.m. in the morning. However, I am getting used to sleeping late. Tell Walt and Elmer that the only responsibility before breakfast is to make the bed and polish your shoes. There are no slippery pigs, no food to throw, crush to mix, wood to cut, no fire to light. Almost nothing.
Men have to shave daily but it is not so bad because there is hot water. Breakfast is strong in light things like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc. but very weak in things like chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, cake, and other normal foods, but tell Walt and Elmer that you can always eat.
Two guys in the city only live on coffee. So with their food and the one that serves you, you have enough until noon, when they give you food again. No wonder these guys in the city can't walk so much.
We went to 'route marches' that the platoon sergeant says are to harden us. If he thinks so, I'm not the one to tell him something else. In one of those 'route marches,' we go more or less the distance to the mailbox of our house.
After that, the kids in the city suffer because their feet hurt and we all return in trucks that pick us up. The sergeant looks like the school teacher, he complains a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels walk around there and wrinkle their foreheads. Don’t bother any of them.
The following will kill Walt and Elmer with laughter. I still receive awards for my gunnery, I don’t know why. The dartboard that is almost as big as the head of a chipmunk and it doesn’t move, besides it is not shooting you like the Higgett kids at home.
All you have to do is lie on the ground very still, aim and shoot. You do not even have to fill your own cartridges, it comes in boxes ready to use.
Then comes something they call hand-to-hand combat. There they give you the opportunity to fight with those guys from the city. I have to be careful not to damage them because they break very easily.
It does not look like fighting the old bull that is in the house. I'm still the best they have except for that Tug Jordan from Silver Lake. I only won him once. He joined the Marines the same day as me, but I am only 5'6 "and weigh 130 pounds, he measures 6'8" and weighs almost 300 pounds.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry up and come to the Marines before the others find out about this configuration and stampede.
We hope you enjoyed this funny letter, it reminds us of a woman that gave a genius response to a person who told her to "cover up" while breastfeeding her baby. Her reaction was so funny that it went viral immediately.