Daily Joke: Woman Speaks at a Church Meeting

It's hard enough having to look after an ailing person. Taking your troubles to church seems like the right thing to do when you're desperate for help. But the woman in this joke should have listened to the details more closely.

A woman named Jill stood up at her church’s Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:

“I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his Harley, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum.”

Church congregants giving testimony. | Source: Pixabay

Church congregants giving testimony. | Source: Pixabay

The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats.

“Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he’s in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can’t lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need."

The women felt her pain and held their children closer to them, the men couldn't make eye contact with each other as they thought of his pain, planning to light a candle on their way out.

Candles in church. | Source: Pexels

Candles in church. | Source: Pexels

"Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new."

A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sank in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that: 

“There but for the grace of God go I.”

Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone bent figure stood up in the midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation:

Man in church. | Source: Pexels

Man in church. | Source: Pexels

“My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill. That word is: sternum.” 

Oops. Jill got that a little wrong! Did this joke make you laugh? Share it with your friends and bring smiles to their faces. 

Sadly not everyone gets the support they need from their churches.

"Think Like a Man" star Meagan Good revealed that while she is a faithful person and devout Christian, she hasn't been attending church because of some judgmental churchgoers.

Good has always been open about her beliefs but she no longer attends church as often as she'd like due to hateful people among the congregation.

And while judgy Christians might keep Good out of the church, her own faith is strong enough to withstand anything thrown her way.

Related posts
Life Apr 02, 2019
After Church Buys $1.8M Home for John Gray, He Asks Congregation for $250K to Fix Church Roof
Stories Apr 26, 2019
Woman Meets Two Poor Homeless Men at McDonald’s
youtube.com/The Source Church
Life May 14, 2019
Beth Chapman Speaks at South Florida Church on Mother's Day
Jokes Apr 29, 2019
Old Cowboy Shamed When He Wore 'Inappropriate Attire' to Church