Daily Joke: Young Lady Impressed by Handsome Doctor Examining Her Chart

Going to the doctor is complicated enough when you are trying to understand all the technical terms and reading through complex charts. But what about when a patient and doctor get lost in translation? Now that is just hilarious. Here are a few jokes to prove why.

1. Looks that kill.

A young woman gazed up from her hospital bed at the very handsome doctor who was examining her chart. She fluttered her eyelids and said, “They tell me that you are a real lady killer.” The doctor smiled and shook his head. “No, I make no distinction between the sexes.”

1. Quarantine meals.

“I hate to have to tell you this”, said the Doctor in a sad compassionate voice, “but you have been unfortunately been diagnosed with a highly contagious disease, we will have to quarantine you and you’ll only be fed cheese and bologna.” “That’s terrible!” Said the distraught young man, quickly sitting down before he could faint. “I don’t know if I could handle being in quarantine…and the cheese and bologna diet… What’s with the cheese and bologna diet anyway? I’ve never of such a diet before?!” “It’s not exactly a diet”, responded the Doctor matter of factly, “it’s just the only food that will fit under the door!”

1. Patient- doctor confidentiality.

My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu, she was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for over an hour we were finally admitted to see the

Doctor. After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and checking her ears, the Doctor looked my daughter in the eye and said, “so what would you say is bothering you the most?” Without skipping a beat my daughter promptly answered,

“Billy, he always breaks my toys!”

1. When your health is off the charts.

Due to a job transfer, Brian moved from his hometown to New York City. Being that he had a very comprehensive health history, he brought along all of his medical paperwork, when it came time for his first check up with his new Doctor. After browsing through the extensive medical history, the Doctor stared at Brian for a few moments and said, ” Well there’s one thing I can say for certain, you sure look better in person than you do on paper!”

1. Misdiagnosed patient.

Doctor: “I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol.” Patient: “That’s OK. I will come back when you are sober.”

Source: Great Clean Jokes, Clubrunner