Daily Joke: A Lawyer Finds Clever Way to Get through the Crowd

Lawyers handle some of the most serious cases, from long hours to court technicalities there is always win or loss. Here are a few jokes showing the lighter side of being a lawyer.

  1. Like father like son.

A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.

Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn't get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

  1. Two for one grave.

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mummy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man."

Shadow of tombstone worker reclaiming only graves on March 2, 2009, in London, England | Source: Getty Images

Shadow of tombstone worker reclaiming only graves on March 2, 2009, in London, England | Source: Getty Images

  1. Long work hours.

The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father's firm.

At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father's office and said, "Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you've been working on for so long!"

His father yelled: 

"You idiot! We've been living on the funding of that case for ten years!"

  1. An orange a day keeps a lawyer paid.

One day in Contract Law class, the professor asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"

The student replied, "Here's an orange."

The professor was livid: 

"No! No! Think like a lawyer!"

Lawyer reading in a library | Source: Getty Images

Lawyer reading in a library | Source: Getty Images

The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds"

He goes on to say; "and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds."

Concluding his arguement he say, "anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding..."

Source: GLOCK Talk, Lawyers Weekly

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