Lizzo of 'Truth Hurts' Fame, Admits She Was ‘Worst Communicator’ as a Child but Learned to Open up about Her Feelings
Lizzo is the poster girl for self-love and body positivity, but the singer/rapper wasn’t always confident. She opened up in a recent interview about being the “worst communicator” as a child and how she learned to be more open.
Lizzo recently sat with ELLE for its Women in Music-themed October issue and recalled being unable to reveal her feelings early on.
“I was the worst communicator, emotionally, when I was younger,” she told the publication, adding:
“I would stop talking to my family; I would stop talking to my friends. I would go deeper and deeper into that dark place, and the deeper I went, the harder it was to reach out of it.”
Lizzo’s inability to be vulnerable and put herself out there might have had something to do with deep insecurities she nursed about her appearance.
“I had an insecurity about what a star looks like, or what a front-person looks like,” said the “Juice” singer who only used to feel comfortable performing in a group. “I felt like I was inadequate. …I felt like people didn’t want to look at me and listen to what I had to say.”
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“I just felt like I was throwing music into the world and not even making a splash. A tree was falling in the forest and not making a sound, you know? I was crying in my room all day. I said, ‘If I stop making music now, nobody would fucking care’. So I just made the decision to keep going as an artist. And I’m so grateful I did, but it was by the skin of my teeth.” - @elleusa link in bio
Lizzo recalled hating herself so much that she would have fantasies of being other people.
“I wanted to change everything about myself. I didn’t love who I was. And the reason I didn’t love who I was is because I was told I wasn’t lovable by the media, by [people at] school, by not seeing myself in beauty ads, by not seeing myself in television...by lack of representation.”
Getting to the point where she could be vocal about her feelings, according to Lizzo, was a long winding road. It didn’t exactly help that for a long time, it felt like no one cared about the excellent music she was putting out.
When Lizzo released what many would call her biggest hit, “Truth Hurts,” in 2017, she was battling severe depression and ready to quit music.
“The day I released ‘Truth Hurts’ was probably one of the darkest days I’ve had ever in my career,” she shared a few months back. “I remember thinking, ‘If I quit music now, nobody would notice.’”
Were it not for her producer, publicist, and family members who reminded her it’s usually “darkest before the dawn,” we wouldn’t know the musical goddess that is Lizzo.
A NEW LIZZO
In June, she confessed via Instagram that she was depressed, leading to an outpour of support from fans and celebrities alike.
The next day, Lizzo was back on the social media platform to share just how good it felt to open up herself: “I learned in the last 24hrs that being emotionally honest can save your life. Reaching out may be hard, but as soon as I did it, I was immediately covered in love.”
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I learned in the last 24hrs that being emotionally honest can save your life. Reaching out may be hard but as soon as I did it, I was immediately covered in love. I used to think of sadness as a constant with fleeting moments of joy in between... but it’s a wave 🌊joy🌊sadness🌊joy🌊sadness🌊 and my sadness can be as temporary as my joy. I went on live to have a discussion about triggers. My triggers are: rejection and inadequacy. But I love that I’m more emotionally honest lately. I love that I can use my sadness constructively in real time for gratitude. What triggers your sadness? What do you do when those buttons are pushed? What do you love about yourself in those moments of darkness?
STRENGTH FOR THE JOURNEY
Describing the experience further to ELLE, she said:
“You realize that people truly care about you and they’ll help you, and they don’t mind helping you. Being in those places is inevitable for me; I’m going to end up there again, but the fact that I’m prepared now to go to those places—and I have a toolbox, and I know I can pull myself out—is really helpful to me in my mental health journey.”
You go, Lizzo!
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