June 07, 2020
A man found himself in a slippery situation when he forgot all about his dinner party obligations. Even so, some quick thinking hilariously had the man come up with an explanation for the funny books.
Gloria didn't realize precisely what felt amiss until she nitpicked at her hair while getting ready for the dinner party. The thought hit her between the eyes like a sledgehammer - she decided on snails as the appetizers, and she has no snails!
In a flat panic, Gloria rushed downstairs. "Bill! Bill! Where are you, my love!" Bill had hoped to sneak away to the pub before the dinner party got underway, but it seemed he was out of luck.
After tracking her husband down in his library, Gloria stuffed an empty bucket in Bill's hands and exclaimed, "Please, my love, the dinner party is starting in an hour, and I have no snails! Can you go down to the beach and collect snails! This is a disaster! You know how important these guests are!"
Bill hugged Gloria and told her not to fret as he headed out their patio door to collect some of the slimy creatures. As Bill walked down the beach, he noticed a new pub on the corner of a road he hardly used, and he decided to investigate further on his way home.
A short while later, Bill has had enough of the snail gathering expedition, and he went to the new pub to check it out. After sitting down at the bar and ordering a beer, Bill's longtime buddy Fred came in.
One round turned into five rounds together, and the next time Bill glanced at his watch, he almost fell off the bar chair. He had forgotten all about Gloria's dinner party!
The look on Bill's face was explanation enough as he downed the drink in front of him, grabbed the bucket with the snails, and dashed out the bar - in a straight line, more or less.
Panting heavily as Bill's run home finally had him on the stairs to their apartment, his nerves about the situation caused him to drop the bucket of snails just as he heard the door swing open.
With Gloria glaring down at her husband, a good majority of the snails had fallen out of the bucket and started crawling over Bill's legs and the stairs. However, just as Gloria opened her mouth to voice her displeasure, Bill tried to save himself from her rath by acting quickly.
He looked at the snails and then at Gloria before he looked back at the snails, nudging them along gently Bill said in a fatherly voice, "Come on, guys! You almost there!"
Relatedly, a decision to rather go out for a meal doesn't guarantee better results, as a couple found out when they went to a Chinese restaurant for supper.
Everyone's idea of a surprise is not the same, so when the wife ordered a chicken surprise in a related joke of the day, she got a lot more than she bargained on.
June 01, 2020
February 25, 2020