Daily Joke: An Old Woman Was Speeding

An elderly woman who was driving at an excessive speed was chased by a police officer who ordered her to pull over.

A police officer saw an old woman driving at top speed along the highway, and looking into her car, he was shocked to discover that the woman was knitting.

Upon that discovery, the officer switched on the sirens of his vehicle and went after the woman, but soon discovered that she was oblivious of his presence.

Driving up next to her, the officer wound down his window, and with his bullhorn, yelled at her, ordering her to pull over. To the officer's surprise, the woman looked up, utterly confused, and yelled back at the officer, saying, "No! It's a scarf!"

Here is another similar joke. A police officer on patrol duty pulled a woman over for driving at an excessive speed. The officer asked the woman about her identity.

She replied, saying, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya, and I am visiting my daughter in Tallahassee."

The officer, hearing the woman's name, put away his summons book and pen, telling her not to let him catch her speeding again.

Here's another hilarious joke.: An old woman went to visit her doctor for her usual medical check-up. After examining her, the doctor confirmed that she was in sound health of mind and body.

The doctor also asked the woman about the activities she performed to maintain her health status. The woman replied, saying that she drank beer for better digestion and white wine when she had a low appetite.

The woman also added that in the case of low blood pressure, she drank red wine, and then scotch when she had high blood pressure. Finally, she said she drank Schnapps when she had a cold.

After she finished speaking, the doctor asked her when she drank water, prompting the woman to reply, "Oh, I've never been that sick!"

Here's one final joke: While asking students arithmetic questions, a teacher asked little Johnny the question, "If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter and another quarter and then another quarter, how much would you have left?" In his reply, little Johnny said, "A million dollars minus 75 cents."

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Sources: Startsat60, Startsat60