Woman Refuses to Make Her Cousin a Bridesmaid

Christell Fatima M. Tudtud
Sep 09, 2020
04:30 A.M.
Share this pen

A woman sought opinions on a popular online forum after she refused to make her cousin one of her bridesmaids. She and her mother are now at odds because of it.


On Reddit, Melissa (not her real name) explained that her decision not to include her cousin among her bridesmaids irked her mother. Other Reddit users weighed in.

Melissa shared that her mother offered to pay for the open bar and her wedding dress. It was also her who told the bride-to-be to pick her cousin Katy (not her real name) as one of her bridesmaids.

A group of bridesmaids. | Photo:


The Reddit user did not expect that her mother would make such a demand concerning a key aspect of her wedding. Melissa added:

"When I said no, my mom threatened to pull all her financial backing for the wedding."

Melissa explained that she laughed off her mother's suggestion at first. For one, her cousin lives in a different country.

A woman's laugh. | Photo:


But her mother said that she was flying in Katy so the latter could attend the wedding as one of her bridesmaids. Her mother was going to great lengths so Melissa would oblige.

After saying no, her mother became upset and even asked her why she was being a hateful person. But Melissa thought her preferences should matter more because it was her wedding.

Melissa said that her mother has been telling her to treat Katy as her sister. 

A woman in bad mood. | Photo:


Melissa also told her mother that just because she accepted money from her doesn't mean she could dictate her wedding. She thought it was unfair for her mother to help her financially on certain conditions.

She added that her mother did not even tell her she would attend the wedding. For her, it was unfair that her mother would make such a demand.

Melissa explained that she was born in Africa. Katy is the daughter of her mother's sister. Her mother has been taking care of Katy since her sister died.

A groom being fixed by one of his groomsmen. | Photo:


She paid for the education of Katy, who went to a boarding school. Her mother also shouldered the expenses when Katy moved to another country and rented her first apartment.

Melissa said that her mother has been telling her to treat Katy as her sister. But Melissa said she has a sister and that she'll treat Katy as a cousin.

She added that she was going to make her sister the extra bridesmaid. The groom-to-be also has his brother as one of his groomsmen. For Melissa, it makes sense to also have her sister as one of the bridesmaids.

A wedding aisle. | Photo:


Most Reddit users sided with Melissa, saying that her mother should not control her wedding just because she was paying for some of the expenses. One advised Melissa to turn down her mother’s monetary offer if that was not absolutely necessary.

Wedding preparations are often rife with family drama. In another story shared on Reddit, a woman sparked a debate because she didn’t want her autistic nephew to attend her wedding.