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Woman Doesn't Want to Be in a Child's Life That She Gave Birth to

Junie Sihlangu
Dec 01, 2020
01:00 A.M.
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In a recent Reddit post, a woman found herself in a pickle after choosing to be a surrogate for a friend and her husband. The friend died and now the husband wants her to take the motherly role in the child’s life.

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Six years ago, a woman’s best friend found out she couldn’t have children of her own. Doctors went as far as telling her that she would risk death if she tried to have a child naturally.

The woman explained how her best friend already had fertility problems even before that. Choosing to be a good friend and probably wanting to make her happy, the poster agreed to be a surrogate.

Two women friends laughing and hugging outdoors | Photo: Shutterstock/Vlad Teodor

Two women friends laughing and hugging outdoors | Photo: Shutterstock/Vlad Teodor

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She clearly stated in her post that she was only doing it for her friend. Elaborating on that, the woman explained how she didn’t have a good relationship with her friend’s husband.

In her words, she said: “I can not [sic] stand her husband tho, the only reason I did this was for her.” The pregnancy went perfectly well and the woman gave birth to her friend’s child.

A pregnant woman in dress holds her hands against her belly | Photo: Shutterstock/Natalia Deriabina

A pregnant woman in dress holds her hands against her belly | Photo: Shutterstock/Natalia Deriabina

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The poster clarified how a standard contract was done clearing her from any financial or other responsibilities for the child. However, this year (2020) the best friend sadly passed away.

The surrogate wasn’t able to attend her best friend’s funeral due to the novel coronavirus pandemic. Now the late friend’s husband keeps calling the surrogate to insist that she step up and help look after the little girl.

A doctor examining a pregnant woman's belly | Photo: Shutterstock/EmiliaUngur

A doctor examining a pregnant woman's belly | Photo: Shutterstock/EmiliaUngur

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The husband felt the woman had responsibilities to the child because she gave birth to her. The poster shared how the husband had harassed her via telephone; forcing her to be in the child’s life.

The woman declined the friend’s husband’s request several times. After thinking about the matter further, the poster told the best friend’s husband that the child might have come from her body but that she wasn’t her mother.

A mother and father's hands holding a newborn baby | Photo: Shutterstock/Simon Dannhauer

A mother and father's hands holding a newborn baby | Photo: Shutterstock/Simon Dannhauer

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The woman felt the child wasn’t even hers. She told the widower that she had no obligation to the little girl and that she was not going to take her friend’s place in the daughter’s life as a mother.

The husband responded by swearing at her and telling her that he was going to get his lawyer involved in the matter. The woman posted on Reddit to find out if she was, indeed, wrong in this situation.

A father walks during sunset while howling his daughter's hand | Photo: Shutterstock/Katya Shut

A father walks during sunset while howling his daughter's hand | Photo: Shutterstock/Katya Shut

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Most responders actually agreed with the poster. Some even advised her to get herself a lawyer as well and try and get a restraining order of a cease and desist letter to make the husband stop harassing her.

Other social media users were quite concerned, rightfully so, about the child’s wellbeing. They noticed that the child’s father seemed to want to relinquish his parental duties to the best friend.

A young agitated redhead woman sitting on a couch while talking on the phone | Photo: Shutterstock/Prostock-studio

A young agitated redhead woman sitting on a couch while talking on the phone | Photo: Shutterstock/Prostock-studio

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One of the ways that the woman might have gotten pregnant with her best friend’s child is through an in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle. The process sees the egg being taken from the mother and fertilized with the father’s sperm.

Then the embryo is transferred into the uterus of a gestational carrier. The gestational carrier will “house” the baby to term and the biological mother and father will then act as the child’s parents after it’s born.

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