February 11, 2021
A man was worried to death after his wife disappeared while kayaking. He was waiting to hear from the search party when suddenly, his doorbell rang. There were two grim-faced Mounties outside.
Tim paced around the room as his microwaved lasagna got colder. The day before, he got a call from his wife's friend who said there had been a kayaking accident and his wife was nowhere to be found.
Suddently his doorbell rang. Tim nervously headed towards it and peeped through to see two Mounties standing outside.
Tim opened the door and let them in. Their grim faces did not help his paranoia. "Did you find her?" he asked, biting his nails.
The Mounties sighed and looked at each other. "Well?" Jim said, his voice shaky due to fear.
"We have good news and bad news," the men said. "Which one would you like to hear first?"
Tim could almost tell what was coming. Ashen, he said he would like to hear the bad news first. What good would waiting do anyway?
He stopped midway and stared at the floor for a few seconds before speaking again.
Tim knew what was coming, but he could not believe it. "Oh my God!" he exclaimed as he sank into the couch and held his head on his hands. After a minute, he finally spoke again.
"What is the good news then?" he asked.
"Well, when we pulled her up, there were 10 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 fat lobsters clinging to her," one of them said.
"What the..." Tim began. He stopped midway and stared at the floor for a few seconds. He let out a sigh before looking at the men to speak.
"Alright. You keep 5 crabs, I'll keep five. Give me 6 lobsters. Let's set her again and check in the morning, okay?"
Here's another joke about a man who decides to help his friend who was looking for a perfect wife.
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