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'At First I Did Not Want to See Her': The Heartbreaking Testimony of Father Who Stood over Late Daughter's Body

Rita Kumar
Oct 09, 2021
01:20 A.M.

A dad was torn apart when a police officer showed up at his door and informed him about his daughter’s accident. The dad went down to his knees and bawled uncontrollably. Deep inside, he was certain it wouldn’t be his daughter and refused to see her.

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The loss of a loved one can be so unbearable. You can hear your heart beating heavily, and your tears would endlessly flow while you reminisce them. When Reddit dad BAM74 lost his daughter, he was shattered and speechless.

Guilt and regret are two different feelings that might haunt you when you’ve lost someone dear to you. You’d blame yourself for not spending more time with them. The Reddit dad wished he’d gone back in time to protect his daughter from the mishap that took her away.

Days following the distressing incident, the dad realized he had to remain strong for his family. He shared his touching story on Reddit, asking ‘what it feels like to lose a child unexpectedly,’ eventually making many readers teary-eyed.

Dad mourns his daughter's loss | Photo: Amomama

Dad mourns his daughter's loss | Photo: Amomama

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THE HORRIFIC DAY THE DAD STILL HASN’T GOT OVER

What started as a typical day ended harrowing when a police officer showed up at Redditor BAM74’s house. He and his fiancée were asleep when he woke up to loud bangs on the front door. He looked through the window and knew the SUV belonged to the police. But he hadn’t realized they’d arrived to deliver the most disheartening news ever.

He couldn’t believe being at his daughter’s funeral.

The Original Poster (OP) answered the door and was eventually informed about his daughter’s accident. The dad knew what was coming next. He went down on his knees and bawled uncontrollably. “Police officer shows up at the door: This will haunt me for the rest of my life,” he explained in his story.

People at a funeral | Photo: Unsplash

People at a funeral | Photo: Unsplash

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“THAT’S NOT HER”

OP had to make several calls and inform everyone about his daughter’s sudden demise. Moments later, he had to take those painful steps to see her one last time and confirm it was her. Deep inside, the dad wished it wasn’t his daughter. Posting to Reddit, the dad explained:

“At first, I did not want to see her. I kept saying, “That’s not her.” Later in the day, I changed my mind. This was extremely surreal and heartbreaking. She was transported to the funeral home the same day.”

Everyone processes death in a different way. It’s a personal journey, and facing the loss of a child can place stress on each parent’s relationship. Besides the grief he’d to handle, OP was responsible for planning his daughter’s funeral. It was emotionally draining. However, he gathered courage and did everything while grieving.

Distressed man sitting alone | Photo: Pexels

Distressed man sitting alone | Photo: Pexels

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TIME HEALS EVERYTHING

It was almost a week after her death, and the dad hadn’t stopped grieving. He couldn’t believe being at his daughter’s funeral. He’d known several people who’ve lost their kids, but he couldn’t wrap his mind around his daughter’s death.

“I wish I could have been there to hold her during her last minutes of life…I feel guilty doing things... like going out to eat (haven’t felt like cooking) and taking my other two children to the movies last night,” the dad explained.

Two weeks past the mournful journey, the dad was obsessed about finding out the details of the accident. The girl always wore her seatbelt. Still, he suspected if she dropped something and bent to pick it up, eventually losing control over her steering. Amidst such unanswered questions, the dad realized he had a very long way to go and left his emotional healing to time.

People mourning the loss of a dear one | Photo: Pexels

People mourning the loss of a dear one | Photo: Pexels

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There’s no magical wall clock ticking, forcing you to “get over” and deal with your dear one’s passing. No one pressures you to move on instantly. You’re allowed to take all the time you need to heal. Sometimes, being open to accepting help from friends, family members, or neighbors and joining support groups may help you manage your feelings.

Parents become the focus of attention when their child dies. Though you can expect you’d never completely “get over” your dear one’s passing, you’ll eventually learn to find a way forward, at least for the sake of keeping your family united and strong in the process.

Some losses can be so sour and distressing that you’d want to go back in time and prevent them from happening. For now, let’s hope Reddit dad BAM74 has found a way to cherish his late daughter’s memories. We’d love to know what you think about coping with a child’s unexpected loss. Thanks for reading!

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