October 12, 2021
A widower and his girlfriend solidified their whirlwind romance by tying the knot. Unfortunately, two years into their rocky marriage, the woman decides to break her promises to her stepchildren and abandons them with just a goodbye note. Fifteen years later, she receives an unexpected message from her stepdaughter.
When Reddit user Ok_Stairs_3264 fell in love with Will, she knew he wasn't just a recent widower. He was a responsible father of two kids. She promised his children that she would be a good mother, but unfortunately, some promises are destined to be broken.
Couples should treat each other with compassion, understanding, and empathy to have a loving relationship. For Redditor Ok_Stairs_3264, that was her expectation when she married 29-year-old Will, but things didn't work out as expected.
A WEDDING CEREMONY FULL OF VOWS
The Original Poster (OP) met Will when she was 22. He had two kids who seemed more than happy to get a "new" mom. When Will introduced his girlfriend to his kids, he wanted her to get involved in their lives from the very start and quickly decided she was the one for him and his kids.
OP explained how Will told her they'd make a great family together. At a certain point, she quickly started trusting Will and married him when she was just 23. Their special day included promises between OP and her stepchildren. Unfortunately, their fairytale turned rocky when OP began feeling like Will was taking her for granted.
PUSHING CHILDCARE ON HER
Gradually, she realized Will left all the childcare to her. Redditor Ok_Stairs_3264 wasn't a stay-at-home parent and worked full-time. However, Will appeared to have no respect for her professional commitments.
Whenever Will returned home from work, he always had reasons why childcare was a "woman" thing. Since OP had previously done babysitting, Will took it for granted and assumed she would take over all the motherly duties while he relaxed after work. That's probably where the rift started.
TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED
The secret behind the success of a functional family relies on communication and a balance of parenting responsibilities. Unfortunately, in OP's case, her husband took her for granted and boldly claimed he "deserved" to relax after work.
Will refused to help his new wife with household chores and instead played video games until bedtime. He'd even hang out and drink with his friends at home with the TV blaring, which only added to OP's annoyance.
KIDS FOLLOW IN THEIR FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS
Will's overbearing attitude towards his wife didn't go unnoticed by his kids. They began to replicate his behavior, and he'd encourage their outbursts towards their stepmom. He openly disrespected his wife in front of the kids and allowed them to laugh about it.
No spouse, especially a newly married one, would entertain their family, ganging up against them for no reason. Redditor Ok_Stairs_3264 reveals she was taunted by her husband and kids and expected to serve her husband and stepchildren with "love and care."
SHE DECIDED NOT TO LIVE IN LIES
Thus, OP realized their marriage was becoming too toxic for her by the end of their first anniversary. She wanted to leave, but her promises to Will's children held her back. Whether she liked it or not, she decided to put in more effort to strengthen her marriage, but it was in vain.
Another year went by, and OP realized she couldn't cherish so-called family goals and explained that she genuinely hated her husband's kids by this point. Deciding not to live a lie and pretend to love her family, she left.
MOVING OUT OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
She packed her things and moved away without having a face-to-face conversation with any of them. Redditor Ok_Stairs_3264 explains that she realized she had no choice but to take the colossal step to save her sanity.
However, she felt like she had to leave some explanation. OP left a note explaining why her marriage wasn't working and saying goodbye to the family.
A MESSAGE FROM STEPDAUGHTER
The Redditor thought she wasn't responsible for Will's kids because she didn't legally adopt them. The couple divorced, and she never reached out to them again. She revealed that, deep inside, she was delighted to be free, and after reading her post, several users from the online community sided with OP. One person said:
“That being said, I’m pretty sure Will also promised something along the lines of “to love and to cherish,” Which he didn’t keep, either. And the kids certainly promised something, too, if it was an exchange of promises. I doubt they kept their promises, either.”
Almost 15 years later, OP received a message from Will's daughter Tamara, 25. Instead of reflecting on the bitter reasons that affected her dad and stepmom's marriage, the young daughter condemned OP for betraying her by leaving. She claimed OP was responsible for making promises she couldn't keep.
OP had already moved on. But couldn't help but wonder how Will's daughter could overlook the horrible way she had treated Redditor Ok_Stairs_3264.
Some promises are easy to make but soul-crushing to keep. Do you think breaking a promise you made to stepchildren is justified if the family goes out of their way to hurt you? We'd love to know your opinions!
September 10, 2021