Woman Who Lost Son 14 Years Ago Shares Words of Hope to Those Struggling with Loss

Lois Oladejo
Oct 12, 2021
05:00 P.M.

Fourteen years after losing her son, Clare Mackintosh was bold enough to share words of hope and encouragement to everyone dealing with the loss of a loved one last year December.


Some life’s travails can only be understood after walking the path and emerging on the other side. Twitter user Clare Mackintosh spent the last 14 years walking through her share of crooked paths, emerging all the better for it.

Having found healing, at last, the woman who lost her son all those years ago was confident to help others dealing with similar losses to scale through the path seamlessly.

A picture of Clare Mackintosh with an inscription of her words talking about her son's death | Photo: Instagram.com/claremackwrites

A picture of Clare Mackintosh with an inscription of her words talking about her son's death | Photo: Instagram.com/claremackwrites


Taking to Twitter in December 2020, Mackintosh shared her story with netizens, accompanying it with several promises of hope of a better tomorrow. She tweeted:

“My son died fourteen years ago today. If you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one, I have some promises for you.”


She then touched on about a dozen feelings that usually accompanied a tragic loss, promising those concerned that time would heal the hurt.


The best-selling author’s first promise to those grieving was that their lost loved one would not always be the first thing they thought of every morning.

Next, she reassured the bereaved that they would not always lay in bed at night sobbing until they couldn’t breathe due to the loss.


More promises like being able to walk again someday without feeling “like you’re dragging your leg,” and someday being able to say “their name without crying, feeling wistful, sad, or broken” followed.


After dishing out her heartfelt promises, Mackintosh proceeded to explain her journey in the last 14 years and how those same words helped her navigate her moments of grief, saying:


“Fourteen years ago, a woman made me these promises, and I didn’t believe her. I sobbed silently as she told me how the years had healed her and I thought she was wrong.”

She went on to explain that no matter how wrong the bereaved thought she was now, the “rock grief” in their throats would certainly wash away as the years went by.

She then left her readers with something to hold on to until then, encouraging them to remain gentle with themselves. Going further, Mackintosh explained that grief could not be rushed but needed to be experienced one day at a time.



Mackintosh’s message of hope touched several Twitter users, giving them hope in their darkest moments. Many utilized the comments section to thank her for her encouraging promises, while others admitted the write-up helped them deal with their losses. One wrote:

“Sorry for your loss. This piece of writing has helped me a great deal, (even though I’m not religious.”


Many recounted their devastating losses, which they were yet to heal from, and how they had handled it over the years. One commented:

“We lost our son to suicide while he was away in college. Last night, I put his picture on my bedside table. It gets better a bit at a time.”

Another commenter explained how the grief came in waves even years after losing her daughter. She likened the intensity to a tsunami, adding that music always served as a catalyst to make the feeling of grief more intense.



The bestselling author, Clare Mackintosh, lost her son over fourteen years ago after suffering brain damage caused by meningitis.

The boy, Alex, was one-half of her set of twins born prematurely in November 2006. After weeks in NICU, the child developed a severe hemorrhage that ravaged his brain.

Faced with the choice of nursing a severely disabled and brain-damaged son or not having the boy at all, the parents were forced to turn off life support. That way, they ensured Alex would not spend his entire life in penury.

The outcome of the decision proved harder to endure than she ever imagined. She dealt with the grief for years, eventually pouring it into the pages of her 2019 bestselling novel, “After The End.”

She credits the book with helping her deal with the loss of her son and finally healing from her years of grief, finding peace again.

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