Father Gave Up Only Daughter for Adoption – They Met 20 Years Later

A man claimed he was not prepared to be a father and placed his only daughter for adoption. Almost 20 years later, the girl reached out to him.

When Redditor MaxUseful and his partner welcomed their only daughter around 20 years ago, they weren’t prepared to be parents. The Original Poster (OP) was 30-years-old when she was born and didn’t want to have any children.

Fear on one side and regret on the other, the two were confused and eventually agreed to put their baby up for adoption. Meanwhile, the OP’s family was not okay with the decision and tried to talk him out of the idea.

When the OP’s partner suggested adoption, he said he didn’t want to parent his child in exchange for his happiness and agreed. Posting his story to Reddit, he explained:

“It was my ex’s decision if she wanted or not, I made clear I won’t be a father, and she didn’t want to be a mom for starting, she was afraid she could regret later, and we both agree that we’d put the child up for adoption.”

Eventually, the girl was adopted by a couple. OP and his partner split shortly after, and around 20 years later, his daughter reached out to him, asking to meet him with her current parents.

The OP was delighted to hear from her. He got emotional, and as their discussion continued, he got to know more about his only child. He added:

“She’s in college, is going to be a doctor, and I’m absolutely 100 percent sure that she wouldn’t turn out this great if I were raising her.”

She told him that she wanted to meet her biological mother too. His ex was not willing to meet her, and the OP’s daughter respected her mom’s preferences and prepared to meet her dad.

The OP met his daughter and her adoptive family for dinner at their house. It was their first meeting in years, and he was pretty nervous about her thoughts about him. He added:

“Her parents were nice too. Neither of them judged me for giving her to adoption because they actually knew how hard it is to be a parent.”

He told them he knew people who regretted having children when they didn’t want them. “We agreed that it’s not good for the children being raised by people who don’t want them,” he explained.

Ever since he gave up his daughter for adoption, his family had constantly criticized the OP. His mother would often tell him he’d make a good father, but he felt he wasn’t fit to be one.

The OP admitted that the best thing he did was giving up his parental rights.

After reading his post, several users on the Reddit forum sided with him and agreed he did the right thing as a responsible father. One person shared how they stopped searching for their biological mother, fearing disappointment.

“I am also adopted, have considered looking for my bio-mom, but I hear that this is the usual as far as adopted kids who met their bio-moms goes,” Redditor TornadoOfDestruction explained, and added:

“I knew a guy who was also adopted, and he went in search of his bio-mom, and it rocked his world and disappointed him so much.”

Meanwhile, user derekwtg supported the OP in a comment that read: “As an adopted kid, I can definitely confirm you did the right thing...So far, I haven’t had much desire to discover any bio family I might have. But I am forever grateful to have been chosen by a wonderful couple.”

The OP admitted that the best thing he did was giving up his parental rights. “She’s going to be a neurosurgeon in ten years. I’m so proud. If I were her dad, she’d end up working at a grocery store,” he said.

He claimed he was happy his daughter had a better life just like him, even without his active involvement in her life as her father.

If you enjoyed reading this story, then you’d like this one about a woman who gave up her child for adoption confronts her sister to get her baby back.

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