Woman notices widower still wearing his wedding ring & brings it up during team lunch | Shutterstock
Source: Woman notices widower still wearing his wedding ring & brings it up during team lunch | Shutterstock

Woman Sees Widower Wearing His Wedding Ring and Brings It up during Lunch, Later Sparks Debates

Rita Kumar
Jan 19, 2022
02:20 A.M.
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A woman is mercilessly roasted online after asking a widower why he was still wearing his wedding band, bringing the matter to everyone’s attention during lunch.


A 32-year-old woman went viral online after recounting the moment she brought up how a widower still wore his wedding ring during a team lunch in the office. However, the internet wasn’t kind to her.

Have you ever been the one to freeze people in the room and point their grumpy faces in your direction after asking something that seemed OKAY to you? 

One woman known by the username Ideal-Mind3099 on Reddit decided to ask her new co-worker, a recent widower, about the wedding ring on his finger. To her surprise, things went in an unexpected direction then and there.

A woman notices her colleague still wearing his wedding band despite being widowed | Photo: Shutterstock


A recent post on Reddit got the internet talking and condemning a woman online for bringing up a conversation that she thought was “casual” about a widower’s wedding band.

With more than 21K votes and counting, the Original Poster (OP)’s story is still shining, but for all the wrong reasons. Well, what made her amass so much negativity? 

OP’s company hired a new employee, "Jame", a few weeks prior. She said the guy, 36, was friendly and that his wife passed away eight months ago. 

She and the other colleagues got along well with James. But when OP noticed he was wearing his wedding band, she was confused.


The woman notices her recently widowed colleague still wearing his wedding ring | Photo: Pexels

She decided to ask him about it without further thought during their team lunch. She pointed out how James was “MISLEADING” people by wearing his wedding band although widowed.


Everyone stopped eating and stared at both of them. James looked pretty bothered by what OP said but she didn’t realize she had to stop talking.

The person even lashed out, saying that it seemed like OP was interested in the co-worker.

She went on and on about how James misguided people about his relationship status when he was “technically single” and on his own accord now. The more she said, the more it aggravated the widower.

OP went on & on about how the widowed man had been misguiding people | Photo: Pexels


OP said she didn’t want to sound cruel but was speaking from a technical angle. James interrupted her and explained that he didn’t really care about people’s opinions. 

He stated that he’d turn down any woman that approached him even if he wasn't wearing his wedding ring, citing he obviously “wasn’t interested.”

The woman, however, saw no end to her words and kept telling James he was misleading people about his marital status regardless of how he felt about dating. And that was it—James realized it was high time she stopped saying a word more. 

The woman wouldn't stop commenting about his marital status | Photo: Pexels


He lashed out at OP, saying she was rude and disrespectful of his sentiments. He grabbed his stuff and walked away mid-lunch. 

Her colleagues told her there was no reason to have brought up his marital status. Though some said James overreacted, they condemned OP for creating a scene. 

Posting her story on Reddit’s community famous for seeking judgment based on one’s actions, OP asked the internet, “Did I overstep, or did he overreact?”

To her dismay, thousands of users flooded the comments section and said her outlook on the guy’s marital status should be none of her concern.


The widower was annoyed & decided to leave the place | Photo: Pexels

“A wedding ring isn’t a sign to others you aren’t available...It’s a commitment to a person you love,” Redditor jdwazzu61 lashed out at OP, adding:


“His wife might be dead, but if he’s not ready to move on, then he’s still committed to her.”

“It is not up to you to determine how long it’s acceptable for someone else to grieve or to police what they wear. How dare you?” user Lokiberry316 vented

As the discussion heated up, the woman saw no end to being slammed by people who called her “cruel & insensitive.”

People online condemned OP | Photo: Pexels


“A wedding band isn’t legal papers. It’s not supposed to represent his technical, legal relationship status,” Redditor GoodGirlsGrace wrote, adding:

“He’s not wearing it to let others know he’s available. He’s wearing it for her memory and to show he’s still committed to her.”

The person even lashed out, saying that it seemed like OP was interested in the co-worker. Meanwhile, another said James needed to bring it to HR’s notice.

Some lashed out at OP saying wedding rings don't just technically represent one's relationship status | Photo: Unsplash


“He should indeed go to HR. He is there to do a job, not be on a relationship meat market. His relationship status is not any of OP’s business,” Redditor lastcall4coffee wrote.

“You called them out on a “technicality” instead of being a compassionate person,” Redditor JombieKiller chimed in.

“You’re right. I don’t. However, I wasn’t telling him how to represent himself but rather pointed out how I felt about the band…Nothing malicious, and I said this with enough compassion," OP responded

James was upset and refused to speak to OP and the others who sided with her after the incident. Moreover, the damage she caused to their relationship was beyond repair.


The damage OP caused was beyond repair | Photo: Pexels

Questions to Ponder:

Is it okay for people to be intrusive in someone else’s private affairs? 


Several people online argued that OP was wrong for passing judgment about her colleague’s marital status when she had no right to do that. They said it was none of her business to take a dig at someone’s personal life regardless of how close/distant they were related.

If you were James, would you walk away after someone takes a dig at your private life publicly the way OP did? Would you calm down and mend terms with them again?

Do you think James needs to bring the matter to his HR’s notice?

Many people advised for James to consider the matter highly inappropriate towards a co-worker and take it to his HR’s notice. The majority of people who sided with James even argued that OP tagging him as “misleading” was utterly unacceptable, that too in a workplace.


Should your colleague question your personal life, how would you react? Do you think reporting to HR would resolve everything, or will you handle the situation differently?

If you liked reading this story, here’s another story about a woman who banned her fiancé’s colleague from attending their wedding, with yet another rude move.

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