My Father Asked Me to See Him on His Deathbed — His Brutal Confession Left Me, an Adult Man, Crying

Several years ago, a man shared on Reddit that his father was on his deathbed and had asked him to visit. The son was apprehensive about seeing his father because they had a volatile relationship, but he later decided to visit.

A 31-year-old man asked users on Reddit a critical question: should he visit his father in the hospital as he was on his deathbed dying of cancer? The original poster (OP) explained that he had no desire to visit his father because they had a terrible relationship, leaving him feeling unloved, uncared for, and unappreciated.

OP had tried all he could to impress his father; he did his best at school, got a full scholarship to a prestigious university, was valedictorian of his year, and at 26, he started his own small business that did considerably well.

But despite his achievements, OP's father would belittle and yell at him for everything possible. OP felt useless, worthless, and a failure, which caused lingering issues into his adulthood. He wanted to hear "I'm proud of you" from his father, but he never heard it.

To add fuel to the fire, his father doted on his mother and three sisters, making him resent them. He wondered why he dealt with cruelty while they got his father's smiles, laughter, and kindness.

His terrible relationship with his father made OP not care about the parent's worsening health condition. He had already suffered two heart attacks and a stroke when he was diagnosed with lung cancer and faced death.

Although OP explained he did not care if his father passed, he was met with a moral dilemma. His father, only having a few months left to live, wanted to see him. His mother, sisters, and wife also wanted OP to visit him.

OP found himself confused about what to do about the situation. He did not want to visit with all the hurt and pain in his heart. However, if he went, he would give his sisters, mother, and wife peace of mind and perhaps provide them with closure on their relationship together.

So he reached out to fellow Reddit users for advice on whether he should make the trip to visit his father. One commenter wrote that if OP decided to go, he needed to do it for himself and not his family members. Many sympathized with his situation and understood why he would be wary of visiting his father. A while later, OP shared a heartbreaking update with the platform.

The Update the Reddit User Gave about His Sick Father

The OP revealed that he had visited his father in the hospital after thinking that perhaps the ailing parent had something to say that was worth hearing. He went alone, without his wife or family members.

He vowed never to speak to his father again, not attend his funeral, and not visit his grave.

When he got into the hospital room, he saw his father, now an old broken man, who was not the cold, harsh man he remembered. OP was still angry because he couldn't stand to look at his father eye to eye, who had treated him terribly for years.

OP and his father sat silently for an hour until the younger man found his voice and said, "You know this is the last time we'll see each other, right?" His father did not respond for quite some time until finally, he said he knew.

OP then asked the older man, why now? Why after all these years did he want to see him now? Why had he wanted to see him so badly that he had to send a message through OP's mother? He then learned that his existence had meant nothing to his father.

The Shocking Truth about How OP’s Father Really Felt about Him

On his deathbed, OP's father explained he asked him to visit to give his mother closure. She had never asked them to reconnect, but his father knew she wanted it.

Then OP asked his next question, why had the parent treated him so severely throughout his life? His father said he had never wanted a son and never had any interest in having one. OP felt hurt, but he continued to listen to him.

The sickly parent said he tried to care for his son as a baby and young child, but he realized he could not. Then OP heard the words that finally ended their relationship:

"I never loved you, but I didn't hate you either. I just didn't care for you."

His father said he wanted to give OP up for adoption, but his mother would have never forgiven him. Instead, he pushed his son aside, and although OP sought his approval, he did not care about him. After the Redditor's father finished talking, OP was crying.

He left his father dying in his hospital bed, angry at him for being so cruel and mad at his mom, sisters, and wife for pressuring him to go. The young man felt he could have gone his whole life not knowing his father's true feelings.

A small part of him had hoped that when he walked into the hospital room, he and his father could have looked each other in the eyes and buried the hatchet. But instead, he learned his father, who he spent so much time trying to please, had never cared about him or what he did.

He vowed never to speak to him again, not attend his funeral, or visit his grave. When his father dies, he hopes to be in a bar drinking because the parent will be gone from the world. He also promised himself to do everything in his power never to be the same way his father was. Reddit users had a lot to say.

What Did Redditors Say about the OP’s Heartbreaking Story?

Most Reddit users sympathized with the OP's situation and many of them showed him their support. One person felt it was all ultimately a reflection on the parent and not on OP because he "messed up" while the poster was only a child, adding:

"You weren't unlovable and there was nothing wrong with you. There was everything wrong with him."

Someone else wondered if OP's father wasn't abused as a child and decided "irrationally" decided having a son would repeat history. The reader thought the poster's father was indirectly taking accountability for his issues with male offspring and it was his problem not OPs, while another person said:

"But you know what? You don't have to care anymore. You're free."

"That's pretty brutal... you have every right to be angry and hurt. I can't even imagine. That man is not your father. He was a sperm donor. Try to take solace in the fact that you've gone the extra mile to make yourself so much more than what he saw." - a Reddit user shared

If you enjoyed this story, check out this one about a father whose eldest son kicked him out of his daughter's hospital room when he went to say his final goodbyes to her.