Sean Hayes Knew Future Husband Scott Icenogle Was the Right Kind of Man for Him the Moment They Met

Scott Icenogle caught Sean Hayes's eye after an installment of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." After officially meeting, Hayes and Icenogle became each other's biggest fans and fell – not in love – but "in respect."

Actor, writer, and producer Sean Hayes's artistic career began long before some of his most memorable roles, including the flamboyant lawyer Jack McFarland on the NBC series "Will and Grace." He is also known for playing Sammy in the 1996 film "A & P" and co-starring in 2001's "Cats and Dogs."

As a Music and Theatre graduate from Illinois State University, Hayes has appeared on screen and stage. Besides acting, Hayes dabbled in other forms of entertainment, doing stand-up comedy gigs at The Comedy Club in Los Angeles.

As a classically trained pianist, Hayes initially saw a full-time career in the music industry, like his husband, Scott Icenogle. The couple kept their relationship under wraps for several years before revealing their engagement. Since they married, they've openly loved each other on their socials and frequently walk the red carpet hand in hand.

Who Is Sean Hayes's Husband, Scott Icenogle?

Scott Icenogle is an accomplished music composer and producer. On his LinkedIn profile, he described himself as a "fiercely driven," "ultra-creative," and "hard-working" individual with various artistic abilities that can be applied in music, television, and film projects.

After graduating from West Potomac High School in Alexandria, Virginia, Icenogle enrolled at the University of Iowa. He majored in Broadcasting and Film Production and joined the UI Film Society. He also took after his dad, Col. Larry F Icenogle, when he joined the UI Marching Band.

Although not much is known about his childhood, the composer reportedly changed homes 17 times before he finished high school. In 2019, he visited the University of Iowa as a Fellow Alumnus to talk about his experiences with the students.

Since finishing his college education, Icenogle established his name in the music industry. He was the original DJ for "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Icenogle had partnered with Loir Rosner, and together they composed music and themes for films, TV shows, and video games.

He also produced songs for well-known artists, including Beyonce, Katy Perry, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, and Justin Timberlake. Moreover, Icenogle is credited with 35 number-one hits on the Billboard charts.

How Did Sean Hayes Meet His Future Husband?

In 2018, Sean Hayes appeared on "The Jess Cagle Interview" on People TV. Affectionately referring to his husband as Scotty, Hayes said he met Scott Icenogle when he DJ'd for "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and thought he "seemed funny" and "cute."

After that first encounter, Hayes was confident that Icenogle was the right man for him because of their contrasting personalities. Hayes described himself as a "crazy actor," while he saw Icenogle as a "grounded and stable" person.

Moreover, Hayes was sure that Icenogle would make him a better person. In 2018, the couple reportedly appeared on "Good Morning America," where they spoke about how their romance began. Icenogle said he was a fan of "Will & Grace" and had been to two tapings of the show.

Furthermore, she wrote him a lengthy letter explaining why his sexuality was "not what God wanted."

Icenogle stuck around for a short while after one of those tapings, hoping he could interact with the cast. He got to meet Hayes and a few other actors on the show and later received a note saying that Hayes wanted to meet again. They went on their first date afterward.

When Did Sean Hayes and Scott Icenogle Get Married?

In October 2014, Sean Hayes appeared with a silver ring on his hand during another interview on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Hayes had guarded his personal life up to that point, so the ring sparked some speculation. Soon after, his representative confirmed that he was engaged to Scott Icenogle.

Moreover, the couple had been dating for eight years before the news broke. So, it's likely that they started seeing each other in 2006. During his interview with Jess Cagle in 2018, Hayes talked about how unconventional their proposal was. He said:

"I said to Scotty, 'Hey, you know if we get married, there’s like a death tax thing?’ He was like, ‘Oh, great. Let’s get married.’ That’s it."

The couple tied the knot during Thanksgiving week, in November 2014, in a private ceremony at their home in Los Angeles. They have also collaborated on a few projects, including a children's book titled "Plum."

Icenogle also produced music for Hayes's CNN show "The History of Comedy," and re-composed the music for the "Will & Grace" reboot. He and his husband will celebrate their 8th wedding anniversary next month, and they seem to be going strong.

When Did Sean Hayes Come Out as Gay?

Sean Hayes first came out to his family before letting the rest of the world know of his sexual orientation. The actor had an idea of who he was as a teenager and theater kid in high school but wasn't quite sure until he was 18. After telling his mom, she said to him that he needed therapy.

Furthermore, she wrote him a lengthy letter explaining why his sexuality was "not what God wanted." She eventually came around and supported her son. Still, the stigma around being gay in the 1980s and '90s was heavy, and Hayes only came out publicly in 2010.

Hayes recalled the dread of playing a gay character on TV. The actor and his castmates – Megan Mullally, Debra Messing, Eric McCormack, and the late Leslie Jordan – frequently received death threats during the late '90s run of "Will & Grace."

Hayes felt the pressure to come out as an individual with a platform from the LGBTQ community while simultaneously being scared that people would find where he lived and cause him harm.

However, he told The Wrap in 2017 that he regretted not coming out sooner. Since he let the world know he was gay, Hayes openly embraced his identity, felt he had nothing to hide, and was "done dealing with other people's awkwardness" about his sexuality.