Hoda Kotb Was Ready to Sacrifice Love to Be Adoptive Mom at 52 — With No Regrets, She Now Dreams of 3rd Child

For Hoda Kotb, it was better late than never. The "Today" host persisted in her quest to become a mother, and at 52, she succeeded. Kotb adopted two daughters with her ex-lover, whom she continues to co-parent with. Additionally, at 58, she hopes to welcome a third child as a single mother.

Apart from being a successful career woman, TV host and author Hoda Kotb has always wanted to be a mother. She had dreamt of it, and through the years, she kept her hopes high.

However, her path to motherhood was filled with a lot of struggles. Many years before welcoming her kids, Kotb struggled with cancer. Although she had advised women to get a mammogram, the "Today" host did not get one early herself.

Fortunately, when she was diagnosed, her breast cancer was at stage one. The TV personality trusted the seasoned doctor, Dr. Freya Schnabel, for her cancer journey, and following treatment, she emerged victorious.

In 2017, while speaking to Megyn Kelly during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Kotb confessed that she was lucky to have an early diagnosis, adding that beating cancer made her fearless because her world snapped into focus and her perspective on life changed.

Kotb may not have a cape, but this real-life superhero has used her story to inspire many by being open with the details of her cancer journey.

Despite beating the disease, her experience after an eight-hour surgery, including mastectomy and reconstruction, left her with scars that affected her. Six years after living cancer-free, Kotb scripted her ordeal post-surgery to celebrate the "Love Your Selfies" series on the "Today" show. In her words:

"There are two phases post surgery. There's the 'OMG, they got it' reaction and you are just so happy they got the cancer. You are so grateful, and you think, "I don't care what my body looks like, I am just happy to be here."

She added, "But I'd be lying if I didn't say there is a second phase... I remember a moment in the hospital when a nurse said she needed to help bathe me and I had to be standing up, in front of a mirror. I told her, 'Please, just turn me around. I'd rather not see it.'"

Eventually, Kotb learned to accept her healthy body, understanding that the scars would be permanent, thus she needed to love herself wholeheartedly.

After overcoming her cancer, she was faced with another shocking detail—the treatments made her unable to conceive. At the time, she also witnessed her brother adopt a child, so she began to consider adoption.

Kotb yearned to have kids, but she did not think about the urgency until she started dating a man named Joel Schiffman, who had a grown daughter. However, she was nervous about sharing her thoughts on adoption with him.

Hoda Kotb's Journey as a Mother at 53

The TV personality had made up her mind about adoption, but what scared her the most was that her lover might disagree, which could end their relationship.

But earlier this year, Kotb spilled some surprising news.

Fortunately, after conquering her anxiety, she asked Schiffman, who surprisingly showed that he was ready to explore adoption with his lover. She recalled it as a beautiful moment, and at that time, she realized that she had chosen the right partner. She added:

"He wasn't gonna deprive me of it. I chose a man who chose my happiness over his convenience."

Soon, the couple began the process, and even though they were unfamiliar with the procedures, they were eager to have their own child. She was interrogated for hours by officials who wanted to know how capable she would be as a parent.

The author did not give specifications on the race or gender of the child; all Kotb cared about was to parent whatever child was given to her. Then, at age 52, she heard the best news after an adoption worker messaged her about the baby's arrival.

The first-time mom claimed that it was a magical experience, and despite not being the birth mom of her first child, Haley Joy, she felt love in her heart and was overjoyed. Instantly, Kotb pledged her love and care for the infant, as she took six months off work to nurture her young daughter.

A year after becoming a mother, the proud mom shared her adoption story in honor of World Adoption Day. The TV personality was full of hope as she shared:

"I feel like if you're meant to have a child in your life, your child is out there. They said to me at the adoption agency, 'Don't worry, your child is out there waiting for you.' And I remember I would scribble in my journal, 'I know you're there.' I could feel her."

Once her prayers were answered, her priorities changed, and she invested time in caring for her daughter. The significant lessons she learned as a first-time mom were patience and hope of achieving any dream, as no dream is too big.

She once said about the adoption: "It's changed mine [life] completely. And I think sometimes you think either I can't ... or I waited too long, or circumstances didn't intend for me, and I should be grateful to have this life, and why would I ask for something more? It felt almost selfish."

Following Haley's arrival, Kotb desired to have more than one child. Without hesitation, she reached out to the adoption agency, but they needed her to wait for nine months.

However, Kotb and Schiffman waited for nearly two years before welcoming baby Hope Catherine into the family. At the time, Kotb was getting ready to release a book but was more excited to pick up her daughter with her lover once she got the news.

Haley readily received her younger sibling, and over the years, Hope, who has been described as a "dream child," has bonded brilliantly with her big sister.

On the "Me Becoming Mom" podcast with Zoë Ruderman, the "Today" host gushed about her girls exchanging notes in school. Speaking of notes, Kotb is a huge fan of leaving notes around the house. After putting her career on hold for some years, she resumed work but made up a convenient culture that often reminded her kids that they are loved.

The onscreen personality would leave messages on papers, including writings and drawings, for her girls to find every morning before school. She always has a well-planned day with lots of bonding time, including dinner, baths, and singing in their rooms.

Kotb, whose idea of family initially was her mother, brother, and sister, is in awe of her blessing as a mom and remains forever grateful for her daughters. Despite the hectic work schedule and juggling with motherhood, she acknowledged:

"Family to me is everything…It blows my mind that I get to have this adorable little family that's just right for me."

Kotb and Schiffman Are Co-parenting While She Hopes for a Third Child

After six years as a couple, Schiffman proposed to Kotb during a tropical vacation in 2019. However, they could not have a wedding due to the pandemic, and they changed plans three times as they continued raising the girls as one big happy family.

But earlier this year, Kotb spilled some surprising news. While on the "Hoda and Jenna" show, she claimed they had separated amicably after deciding to be friends and parents instead of an engaged couple. She explained that nothing happened, but the relationship had run its course.

Despite their separation, Kotb spoke highly of her ex-lover, describing him as an exceptional man and father. Schiffman's ex-fianceé appeared grateful for the time they shared, as she looked forward to bonding as a co-parent, raising their adorable daughters together.

With these two, co-parenting has never been better. They prioritize and respect the set time with their kids while switching schedules, ensuring everyone's needs are met.

Thankfully, there has been no drama, especially with two nannies and open communication, which makes the procedure seamless.

As a more experienced parent, Kotb intends to expand her family. Even though she is a 58-year-old single mom and is scared of doing the job alone, she still has much love to give and is hopeful to have a third child.