Woman Disinvited Only Living Grandmother from Wedding Crushing Her Hopes to See Granddaughter Get Married

A Reddit user recently took to the platform to ask if they were in the wrong for disinviting their grandmother to their wedding and quickly received many comments containing conflicting opinions.

Reddit is a popular place for people to ask for advice on whether or not they are in the wrong for situations that seem black and white but often have a grey area. This was the case for one user asking whether or not they should've disinvited their grandmother from their wedding.

The user, who said their grandmother was their hero, had decided under extremely difficult conditions to revoke her invite to the wedding. They also said they expected people to disagree with their decision.

The original poster (OP) mentioned that their grandmother was their only living grandparent. OP added that after battling stage four lung cancer, the grandmother had helped them overcome their own cancer diagnosis. However, they had to disinvite her from the wedding.

Why Did The OP Disinvite Their Grandmother From Their Wedding?

The OP mentioned that they were getting married eight months after they made the post and had been engaged for three years. Although the couple had not planned such a long engagement, circumstances beyond their control caused this.

While the OP initially sent their grandmother an invitation to their wedding, their grandmother had suffered a significant stroke since the invitations had gone out. She was 90 when she suffered the stroke, and the family didn't expect her to live after it.

However, the grandmother survived but was not in good health. On good days, she used a walker, and on bad days, she could only move around using a wheelchair. The OP said:

"It broke my heart immensely coming to the realization my grandmother couldn't be there, especially worrying if she tried to push herself, it could harm her health further."

The wedding and everything involved in the day had been booked and paid for long before the grandmother had had her stroke. Although the couple considered changing their ceremony to accommodate their grandmother, they couldn't afford to.

They decided to disinvite the grandmother because their ceremony was to be held in a historical monument which was not easily accessible to their grandmother as there was no wheelchair access.

The OP said it broke their heart to think their grandmother wouldn't attend their wedding. Still, they would also feel terrible if she pushed her health too far to participate in the wedding, which was in a location the OP's parents insisted on because of its centrality.

The OP then tried to devise several solutions allowing their grandmother to be part of the big day without attending the wedding in the hard-to-get-to location.

One of the suggestions was that someone would video call the OP's grandmother from the ceremony, and another was that the OP and their partner would get married in a courthouse and then use the booked and paid-for wedding to serve as a venue for a celebration.

The grandmother was offended by the suggestion that she was less than capable of being there for their grandchild's wedding. The OP's other family members were also angry that they didn't want to invite their grandmother.

The OP also said that their partner was the only person on their side, as their family was also unhappy, sharing: "Family members are equally angry with me for crushing her hopes to see me get married."

What Did People Say?

The OP updated the post, noting that although their grandmother had a carer, the woman was also small and not able to transport their grandmother around the wedding ceremony. The OP also said they looked into hiring a carer especially for the day, but they had spent all their money on the wedding.

Soon after the OP made the post, the comments talking about whether or not they were in the wrong began pouring in. The consensus was that the OP was being inconsiderate, with only a few people thinking otherwise.

One person said the OP was in the wrong and "cold" because they hadn't considered their grandmother's feelings. Another said they should have asked the people at the venue for options.

Many people said the venue would indeed have some area where the OP's grandmother could be accommodated, and others said if they were the OP's grandmother, they would be heartbroken to be disinvited.

While the OP in this story seemed to have given up on accommodating their grandmother, another person did the opposite. You can read the story here.