Widower's Girlfriend Insults His Daughter's 'Provocative' Look - Dad Can't Ignore It

A widower's quest for love took an unforeseen turn when his girlfriend moved in with him and his daughter. Contrary to his heartfelt aspirations, everything spiraled out of control during his absence one day, compelling him to make a challenging decision.

On January 24, 2023, an anonymous male poster, 33 years old at the time, shared his story in Reddit's "AITA" forum. His 28-year-old girlfriend, whom he had known for three years, moved in with him and his teenage daughter only six months ago. Being a widower, he had taken time to ensure the seriousness of their relationship before welcoming his girlfriend into their home.

Generally, things were going well between his girlfriend and daughter. From the very beginning of their relationship, he had made it clear to his girlfriend that he wasn't looking for a stepmother for his daughter since she was old enough not to require a "new mom."

An Unlikely Incident

The issue arose when the man went camping with a friend for two days, leaving his girlfriend at home with his daughter. He was aware that his daughter was attending a party on Saturday and had already given his approval.

Since the argument, their communication had been minimal.

However, when he returned from his camping trip, his daughter complained that his girlfriend had spoken to his daughter about her makeup, saying she should opt for a less "provocative" look before leaving the house. He noted, "When I came back from my camping trip, my daughter complained that my girlfriend told her she had to wash her make up off."

This led to an argument between the couple. He firmly asserted that his girlfriend had no authority to give orders to his daughter or interfere with plans he had already agreed upon. Since the argument, their communication has been minimal. The original poster clarified that his daughter was 16, didn't need a babysitter, and his girlfriend was not her stepmom or guardian.

Netizens React

Given his dilemma, OP asked the Reddit community for help, asking them if he was "AITA" in the situation. His Reddit account received an overwhelming response from netizens, with many commenters siding with him and deeming him "NTA."

A user expressed that the girlfriend had seriously crossed the boundaries, asserting that it was none of her business to intervene. They found it noteworthy that the girlfriend had deemed the daughter's makeup as "provocative" and shared that, as a mother in her 50s with a 16-year-old daughter, she acknowledged that makeup choices were primarily a personal preference.

She indicated that she would either compliment or refrain from commenting on her daughter's makeup based on her feelings, emphasizing that societal judgments about makeup had evolved over time.

A second commenter stood in agreement, expressing alignment with OP's perspective. They affirmed that they had daughters aged 18 and 20 and occasionally had reservations about their chosen appearances. However, they emphasized keeping their opinions to themselves, recognizing that their daughters' confidence and self-expression were the most critical factors.

A third netizen raised the point that there were certain matters the girlfriend should not be discussing with the daughter, including makeup choices, unless they fell within the parameters set by OP. They noted that in OP's absence, the girlfriend might need to address some issues due to the responsibility of being the only adult present with the minor daughter, citing potential situations like illness.

They emphasized the importance of delineating what the daughter could handle independently and what required adult intervention, highlighting the need for clear communication and paperwork for emergencies.

A fourth Redditor suggested that OP discuss with his girlfriend the issue of labeling the daughter's appearance as "provocative." They deemed such a mindset unacceptable and emphasized discussing personal boundaries rather than judging others.

A fifth commenter agreed with OP's viewpoint but introduced a nuanced perspective. As a stepmother, they shared that they didn't aim to replace the children's biological mother. Still, they acknowledged a level of responsibility and care for the minors they shared a household with.

They recounted an experience with their nine-year-old stepdaughter's makeup usage and how they handled it by speaking privately with the child's father and initiating a conversation with the birth mother. They noted that makeup was not a situation involving physical danger and suggested addressing such concerns privately with the parent. They also mentioned that they would only intervene in cases of poorly applied makeup and would do so with the approval of the child's father.

Another user supported OP's perspective, asserting that the daughter was 16 years old and didn't require babysitting. They agreed that the girlfriend had overstepped her boundaries in this context.

Do you agree with how OP handled the situation? Would you do things differently if you were in his place? Click here to read another story where a father and his fiancée excluded his daughter from their wedding after she bought a dress and shoes.