Grandmom Fat Shames Her Granddaughter, 14, So Dad Decides To Defend Her From MIL

Having witnessed his mother-in-law's troubling treatment of his teenage daughter, an incident that left lasting emotional scars, one father felt compelled to take a stand and protect his child's well-being. Determined to prevent his young girl's 14th birthday from being marred by her grandmom, this devoted dad undertook an unexpected course of action.

On September 18, 2022, an anonymous male poster turned to the "AITA" subreddit to share his story. He, a 42-year-old man, had been married to his wife, aged 39, for a total of 15 years. Together, they shared the joys of raising their 14-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son.

The crux of their family discord centered on his wife's mother, who held views starkly misaligned with his own. Two years prior, during their daughter's 12th birthday, the grandmother had sent a disturbing gift—an instructional book on crash dieting, touting unrealistic promises of shedding 10 pounds in three days.

Why Did OP Limit Contact between His Daughter and Her Grandmother?

The dad couldn't bear witnessing his mother-in-law's attitude toward his daughter, which traumatized her, leading to a month-long struggle before she could eat a full plate of food for dinner again. "Our daughter was devastated because the underlying message was clear as day," recalled the distraught father.

The man's MIL maintained that the package had been entirely innocent.

According to OP, his daughter was a picture of health and happiness—active, diligent in her studies, and, most importantly, content. Nevertheless, her grandmother persisted in the belief that she wasn't living up to her "full potential," a nebulous concept, and that shedding weight would propel her to magazine covers.

Once these views were made explicit to him, he took it upon himself to prevent any unsupervised contact between his daughter and her grandmother, including the exchange of gifts.

How Did OP Protect His Daughter?

About a month prior to their daughter's 14th birthday, her grandma reached out to OP via text, requesting their updated address. Normally, she would have approached his wife, but since she didn't respond within 10 minutes, the grandmother turned to him instead.

Capitalizing on this moment, the man swiftly replied with a fictitious address, instructing his wife not to respond. His concern was that he couldn't guarantee he'd be present to intercept any gifts, and he feared his daughter opening something addressed to her. The fake address consisted of random numbers and a fictional street name, the existence of which he doubted.

A couple of weeks following their daughter's birthday celebration, it became apparent that the fabricated address had indeed resulted in the package's return. Both OP's wife and MIL were incensed. His wife subsequently corrected the address error.

The man's MIL maintained that the package had been entirely innocent. However, on the day it was scheduled for delivery, he decided to work from home. Upon its arrival, he opened the package and discovered a baton twirling uniform, a gift seemingly innocuous at first glance, yet conspicuously two sizes too small.

Later, the man confronted his wife with the undersized gift, asserting that its intention was unmistakable. However, she steadfastly refused to acknowledge this intention. The fallout escalated, with his wife and MIL even more furious with him, particularly for his decision to dispose of the uniform in their neighbor's garbage, albeit with the neighbor's consent. The affectionate dad ended his Reddit account with one poignant question: Did he handle things correctly?

What Do Redditors Say?

The Reddit community overwhelmingly deemed the man "NTA" after reading his story. One Redditor praised the man because he prioritized his daughter's well-being over his wife's reluctance to address the issue with her mother. They commended his stand and suggested couples counseling to align their perspectives. Some even recommended considering low or no contact with the grandmom, if necessary.

Another commenter criticized the wife's role in enabling her mother's behavior and emphasized the potential harm it posed to the daughter's mental health. They urged the wife to recognize the damage she was exposing their daughter to.

One commenter suggested having a serious conversation with the daughter about handling hurtful comments from ignorant individuals, given the persistently harmful behavior from her grandmother.

Regarding the interception of gifts, some Reddit users recommended a more strategic approach. One commenter advised the use of a post office box or parcel locker to intercept and vet presents from the grandmother effectively.

In response to the grandmother's actions, other users suggested addressing the issue with maturity and firmly informing her that such gifts and behavior were unwelcome until she recognized the harm caused by her viewpoint. Protecting the daughter from weight-shaming and body image issues was highlighted as a priority.

What do you think about this story? How would you react if you were in OP's place? Was he right to trick his MIL and defend his daughter from being fat-shamed, or was it too rude to behave with his wife's mom like this?

Click here to read another story about a man whose MIL threw away the food he cooked based on his late wife's recipes for his "picky eater" daughter.