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Couple arguing during a date | Source: Shutterstock
Couple arguing during a date | Source: Shutterstock

I Ditched a Woman I’ve Had a Crush On at the Restaurant on Our 1st Date & I Think I Was Right

Junie Sihlangu
Nov 03, 2023
08:30 A.M.

I had been crushing on a woman at my gym when I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out on a date. But, I soon realized our match wasn't "made in heaven;" it was a HUGE mistake! What she did made me wish I'd never see her again!

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I, an Indian man, finally went on a date with the woman from my dreams that I've had a crush on for months, but what happened while we were out put me off so much that I couldn't bear another minute in her presence! I discovered that her personality and upbringing were not aligned with mine.

Young woman smiling at her date | Source: Getty Images

Young woman smiling at her date | Source: Getty Images

Our date went so badly that I knew I never wanted to see her again! Things were so bad that I also took more drastic measures to ensure she NEVER contacted me again! Here's my story...

So I have been a member of the Xtra Strong Gym for about two years, and during that time, I came across various people. Some attended frequently for a few weeks before falling away, while others only managed a day or two.

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People working out at a gym | Source: Pexels

People working out at a gym | Source: Pexels

Only a few of us managed to stick it out consistently during that time, which allowed the gym to never feel overcrowded. Then one day, she started frequenting the gym. She was a White woman, tall, blond, and quite fit already.

For some reason, we always ended up in the same gym area and on the same machines. One day, I found enough courage to speak to her, and my crush immediately started growing from then onward! She was PERFECT!

A woman working out at a gym | Source: Midjourney

A woman working out at a gym | Source: Midjourney

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"My name is Miranda. I kept wondering how long it would take you to start talking to me," she replied when I introduced myself.

I couldn't help but blush as I explained in my heavy Indian accent, "I didn't want to impose or to seem as if I came to the gym to pick up women."

"Aww... handsome AND sweet! I think I got myself the right gym buddy," Miranda said.

I know they say dark-skinned people can't blush, but I was CERTAIN that I was all shades of red as she continued flirting with me!

"Oh, stop it! You're not bad yourself! I am not even sure if you're here to just show off your perfect physique or if there's another reason for you to grace us with your presence."

A man flirting with a woman at the gym | Source: Midjourney

A man flirting with a woman at the gym | Source: Midjourney

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When she laughed, it was music to my ears!

I'd never, in my 35 years of life, felt this way about someone before! I was smitten, and each day we got to interact was like heaven for me! I started working out even harder to try and impress her with my physical prowess.

Surprisingly, she started maintaining her attendance and would be there consistently. We got to know more about each other, like that she was a personal assistant to the CEO of some big company whose name I can never remember.

I also discovered that she was 33, boyfriendless, and childless.

A man and woman flirting at the gym | Source: Midjourney

A man and woman flirting at the gym | Source: Midjourney

After weeks of back and forth, I decided it was time to take things to the next level... a date. I waited until we'd finished working out and showering before I tackled the issue head-on.

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As I walked her back to her car, I held the door open as she slipped in and then made my move.

"Uh, Miranda..."

"Yes, Ishaan?"

Scratching my head while shifting my weight, I asked, "Would you like to go out on a date with me? I mean, it doesn't have to be romantic or anything. We can go out as friends or whatever. I don't want to pressure you."

It felt like hours before she replied!

A man talking to a woman | Source: Midjourney

A man talking to a woman | Source: Midjourney

"Ishy! Of course, I'll go out with you, you funny chocolate man! And only as a ROMANTIC date, none of that 'friend' stuff for me!"

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"'Ishy...'" I couldn't believe this was happening! She'd already given me a nickname and was game to go out romantically! This was the best day ever... or so I thought.

"Okay, so today is Tuesday. Will you be free this Saturday?" I asked, still avoiding any eye contact.

"Saturday is perfect for me. I can't wait to show you off to my friends, and luckily for you, you don't have that weird spicy smell like others, and I like that."

The way she looked at me while saying that made her words disappear in the background, and all I remembered was she said "Yes!"

A happy man and woman | Source: Midjourney

A happy man and woman | Source: Midjourney

The next few days saw us going back to our usual schedule: working out, chatting, and walking out together. It almost felt like we were already dating, even though that hadn't come up yet. I didn't want to rush into things, and something about her felt off, but I didn't know what or why.

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Saturday couldn't have come sooner, and although I was ready for our outing, I still felt super nervous! I think a part of me felt she was a bit out of my league, and I was honored that she liked me.

A man ready for his date | Source: Midjourney

A man ready for his date | Source: Midjourney

The plan was that we'd meet at the venue. For our first date, I booked a table at a Korean barbecue restaurant. We sat at the bar for a while as we waited for our table, and when we were finally seated, Miranda asked a question I found strange.

"Ishy, what's the fire on the table for?" she asked, confused.

I was genuinely shocked that she didn't know what a Korean barbecue was, especially because we lived in the same area, which boasted all types of restaurants. There was literally a section with just Asian establishments, and you couldn't miss it because of the bright colors and decorations.

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Korean barbecue setup | Source: Getty Images

Korean barbecue setup | Source: Getty Images

There was no way one could live in our area without at least hearing about Korean barbecues. This place was also packed because people of all races loved it! How she'd never heard about them was a mystery to me, but I explained the concept to her nonetheless.

I told her that the staff would bring out whatever food we wanted, but WE would be grilling it ourselves. Looking perplexed by my explanation, she asked:

"But why do WE have to do all the work? Is it not THEIR job to do that for us?"

An unhappy woman with her date | Source: Midjourney

An unhappy woman with her date | Source: Midjourney

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I couldn't understand her reluctance but still tried to get her into the spirit of things.

"It's fun to grill your own food exactly the way you want. The staff gets everything prepared for us, but we put it on the fire and decide if we want it rare, medium, or something else."

"I see..." was her only response.

So I added, "But we can order off the à la carte menu if you aren't interested in the barbecue?"

"No, Ishy, THEY should do everything for us. I didn't come here to burn my hands and get them dirty."

Before I could respond, Miranda waved a waitress over to our table.

Gray-haired woman in a coffee shop | Source: Getty Images

Gray-haired woman in a coffee shop | Source: Getty Images

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"Hey, could you grill the food for us and dish it up when it's ready? We aren't keen on the whole doing-things-ourselves idea, plus it is your job," she embarrassingly told her.

The waitress looked at me as if to confirm what she was hearing was right. I just gave a slight nod and a pained look, as if to say, "Please just go with it. I really like this girl."

"Yes, ma'am," she replied with a deep Korean accent and set about preparing our meal as I blushed.

The waitress was an elderly woman who had to move between tables as she was serving others while attending to our grill. I wanted to die but liked Miranda so much that I chose to stick it out.

But that was my BIGGEST mistake!

An old Korean woman preparing meals | Source: Midjourney

An old Korean woman preparing meals | Source: Midjourney

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Her behavior was so shameful, but I was used to seeing it happen in my homeland, India. Participating in the master and slave trope really threw me off, but I wanted to see where our date would take us.

By the end of our meal, my date asked for dessert, and I politely requested a menu from the waitress. After the waitress handed us the menu and walked away, Miranda showed me another red flag I had to try and ignore.

Chocolate cake dessert | Source: Getty Images

Chocolate cake dessert | Source: Getty Images

She remarked how "Immigrants are useless, and I'm worried they are here illegally, busy using American tax dollars for their benefit."

A nearby group of people of color (POC) heard what she said, and they gave us dirty looks. They also started whispering amongst themselves. I felt their looks were more pointed toward me since I was also a POC and it seemed like I was allowing it.

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She noticed the group's looks and started to say AWFUL things against them too, even using a racist slur against Pakistani people!

Angry couple dining together | Source: Getty Images

Angry couple dining together | Source: Getty Images

At this point, I was HORRIFIED by this and couldn't believe that the woman I liked so much would use such a slur against the group, especially considering I was Indian! But when she saw my upset and disapproving expression, she tried to make things better but only made them worse!

"Oh no, Ishy, I don't mean Latinos. They're fine. I actually LOVE Mexican food!"

I was very disappointed by the fact that Miranda thought I was Latino and not Indian, meaning she couldn't tell us apart and couldn't be bothered to even ask! But still being the gentleman I was, I allowed her to finish her dessert.

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A tense couple having dessert | Source: Midjourney

A tense couple having dessert | Source: Midjourney

Then I got up to use the bathroom, paid our bill with a nice hefty tip to make up for Miranda's behavior, and walked out of the restaurant. I'd never done anything like that before, but I left my date at the restaurant.

At that point, I didn't even care that I was supposed to drive her home since she came via a cab. I wanted nothing to do with her or the way she thought and was unwilling to go along with it just to snag the girl.

A person paying the bill | Source: Getty Images

A person paying the bill | Source: Getty Images

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Part of the reason for me leaving her behind at the restaurant was because I didn't feel like I could handle spending twenty minutes in the car with her after what she had said and done on our date.

To solidify how I felt, when I got home I blocked her number and removed her as a friend on all my social media accounts. It was like I was purging myself from her and my life. I even contemplated switching gyms because I knew I would see her there when I returned.

Upset Indian man | Source: Getty Images

Upset Indian man | Source: Getty Images

All I knew for sure was that I was willing to stay away from the gym or any place where I might bump into her. Heck! I was even considering relocating to a different place, and that job offer in India looked very good after what I went through!

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A stressed-out man at home | Source: Midjourney

A stressed-out man at home | Source: Midjourney

While Ishaan left his date and had to block Miranda's number, for another couple, it wasn't any easier. When a man asked a woman he liked on a date, he didn't expect her to come with an annoying accessory to their meet. The item showed how shallow the woman was and made her date see her for who she really was.

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided "as is," and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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