My In-Laws' Spa Weekend Christmas Gift Feels Like a Slap in the Face

A woman was shocked and disappointed when she discovered that her in-laws had opted to retract their initial gift offer and substitute it with a weekend getaway. Considering it a slap in the face, she took to the online realm to express her discontent, seeking advice from strangers.

In late November 2023, an anonymous female poster penned her story in Reddit's widely read "AITA" forum. She sought advice concerning a recent situation that had stirred strong emotions within her. Despite her genuine love for her in-laws and their consistent support, a particular incident triggered anger she hadn't experienced in a while.

Providing context, the woman explained that she and her husband had initially planned a Christmas holiday in Jamaica for the current year. Unfortunately, the trip was canceled due to her father-in-law's heart attack and subsequent open-heart surgery earlier in November.

Although she harbored no resentment toward the cancellation, the real source of her discontent emerged during the subsequent weeks of contemplation about alternative Christmas plans.

OP's Dilemma

The woman emphasized her contentment with spending time with her in-laws, expressing that she didn't necessarily require a gift. However, to her surprise, they offered each of them a substantial sum for the holidays — more than her monthly income.

She contemplated addressing the issue, wondering if she would be perceived as inconsiderate.

This prospect excited her, especially considering the financial strain she and her husband had endured due to recent extenuating circumstances. The money offered could help them alleviate their debt and return to a more stable financial position.

For approximately two weeks, the original poster believed that she and her spouse would receive this generous financial assistance. Unfortunately, her dreams were shattered when she made a startling discovery.

"Come to find out today that because my SIL and her boyfriend would like to join them on their holiday to Italy in the summer and they can afford to pay their flights and food on their own, his parents will cover the accommodation for their Christmas gift [sic]," explained OP.

The woman felt terrible after learning about her in-laws' change of plans. She lamented, "It feels like a big slap in the face, they offered me basically my monthly income and instead are only going to give a prepaid weekend that I honestly don't even want? Not to mention the whole weekend would be over 1k cheaper than what they offered us to begin with [sic]?"

How Did OP Feel about Her In-Laws' Change of Plans?

OP's frustration stemmed mainly from the stark economic disparity within her husband's family. She pointed out that they were the least well-off, with her sister-in-law earning more in one paycheck than she did in an entire month. Adding to the financial contrast, the military service of other family members resulted in considerably lower monthly bills.

She wanted to convey to her mother-in-law that offering substantial money, only to retract it later, felt insensitive. OP believed that her in-laws might view it merely as a number without fully grasping the impact it could have on their precarious financial situation.

Reflecting on past holiday experiences, she admitted a longstanding discomfort with the family's tradition of exchanging extravagant gifts. She contemplated addressing the issue, wondering if she would be perceived as inconsiderate.

If OP were to approach the conversation, she assured that she would maintain a calm and collected demeanor, expressing her hurt at the insensitivity of casually throwing around large sums when their financial situation was far from secure. Thus, OP couldn't help but wonder: "WIBTA for telling my MIL her Christmas gift feels like a slap in the face after what she offered originally?"

The Online Verdict

After reading OP's story, most of the Reddit community labeled her an "AH," saying she was misguided in holding feelings of resentment and disdain towards her in-laws. Several commenters expressed that OP was ungrateful and seemed to blame her in-laws for her financial struggles. Others perceived the offered spa weekend getaway as a genuinely generous gift.

What are your thoughts on this story? Do you support OP's stance, or do you feel she should have handled things differently? Click here to read another story about a woman whose husband blamed her for ruining his Christmas after opening his present.