My In-Laws Want Me to Be Their Server at the Family Christmas Dinner & My Husband Supports Them

A woman looked forward to hosting her in-laws, who planned to stay at her and her husband's new place, for Christmas. She eagerly proposed to prepare delicious home-cooked delights for them, but they turned down the offer. It wasn't long before she discovered the reason behind their decision, which deeply upset her.

On December 7, 2023, an anonymous female contributor took to Reddit's immensely popular "AITA" forum to share her dilemma. The woman, a recent newlywed, found herself preparing for the arrival of her in-laws during the Christmas season. They were scheduled to stay at her and her husband's new house.

Although they expressed a desire to dine out for Christmas dinner, she kindly proposed to host a homemade feast. Regrettably, they declined her offer. What added an intriguing twist to the situation was the woman's current occupation.

She had taken up work as a server in town after being laid off from her corporate job. Fortunately, she could celebrate the festive season without any work woes since her restaurant was closed on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

But it was then that the woman received the biggest and most unpleasant surprise of her life.

What Did the Woman's MIL Do?

As it happened, the original poster's mother-in-law had something completely different in mind. "[My MIL] called up my workplace without speaking to me beforehand and asked for me to be their server for their entire Christmas dinner," explained OP.

"I found out through my husband that I'd be playing the role of their server for their festive family celebration, and my Christmas "gift" would be a sweet tip and takeout from my restaurant," recalled OP.

The woman found her in-laws' request somewhat odd, considering that the restaurant where she worked was closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and she would have been available to spend quality time with them on those days.

To OP's utter dismay, her in-laws planned to schedule the dinner a day before the restaurant closed for Christmas and wanted to make it their designated family celebration. Despite her in-laws' demands, OP was clear in her stance. "I politely declined because, let's be real, being excluded from Christmas dinner while working as their server? That's a hard pass from me," she noted.

But it was then that the woman received the biggest and most unpleasant surprise of her life—her husband chose to support his parents instead of standing by her side. "Unfortunately, I was told that I was being dramatic, and there's nothing weird about me being [my in-laws'] server for their family's Christmas dinner," lamented OP.

Given everything that transpired, OP couldn't help but wonder, "AITA for expressing to my in-laws that I don't want to be their server for their family's Christmas dinner?"

Seizing the moment during a FaceTime session, the woman communicated her need for clear boundaries, stressing the unacceptability of such behavior, especially given the racial and economic disparities between them.

As a biracial woman originating from a lower-class family, she needed to assert herself and not overlook the actions of her in-laws. OP mentioned that it might take some time for her to respond to messages due to the overwhelming situation. She thanked everyone for their support, acknowledging that their solidarity had provided tremendous assistance.

The Online Reaction

The woman's story amassed an impressive response online, with a large majority of commenters unanimously deeming her "NTA." One person expressed a strong sentiment of disapproval, labeling the situation as insulting and spiteful.

They highlighted the paradox of the in-laws preferring the woman to serve them at her workplace rather than actively participating in their Christmas celebration. Moreover, they questioned the husband's lack of support.

OP responded, sharing her feelings of offense and confusion about her in-laws' unusual request. She emphasized that her own family would never treat a son or daughter-in-law in such a manner and expressed a sense of isolation and gaslighting.

In response to a second comment, OP shared that she was half-Mexican and a quarter-Native but was fair-skinned. She explained that her in-laws' were millionaires, and their undue demands truly upset her.

Another comment empathized with OP, reiterating the notion that the in-laws were at fault. OP acknowledged the out-of-touch nature of the request and questioned her exclusion from the family celebration, wondering if she was not considered a part of the family.

In a separate comment, OP recognized the need for a serious discussion with her husband in response to a user's observation that the issue extended beyond just in-law problems.

Do you think OP was right for refusing to be her in-laws' server at Christmas dinner? What would you do if you were in her place?

Click here to read another story about a woman whose mother-in-law didn't want to eat the Thanksgiving dinner she had cooked and planned to bring her own meals instead.