My Boyfriend Lied about Having Cancer and Moved to Another City, I Soon Found Out the Reason

After their boyfriend of almost two years started acting weird and told them he had cancer, a non-binary individual couldn't help but feel suspicious. After some digging, they discovered their lover's motives and realized that all their relationship had been built on was lies.

On December 17, 2023, an anonymous non-binary poster shared their story in Reddit's "Cheating Stories" forum. The 21-year-old narrator met a 23-year-old man online in April 2022, finding immediate solace in their seemingly charming connection. The man, exuding joy and comfort, created an illusion of an ideal companionship, marked by an oddly swift progression indicative of love-bombing.

As time passed, the man's behavior took a concerning turn. Tantrums surfaced when OP couldn't immediately respond, supposedly due to the man's proclaimed separation anxiety. Consequently, OP adapted, inundating the man with continuous texts throughout the day. Any delay in response resulted in the man's distress, requiring OP to go to great lengths to alleviate his sadness promptly.

A Seemingly Happy Relationship

In late May of the same year, family issues emerged, and confiding in their boyfriend proved unhelpful. To avoid burdening him, OP, battling depression, feigned constant happiness. In moments of genuine vulnerability, they noticed their partner's withdrawal and minimal responses.

Suspicious, OP questioned if this move marked the end of their relationship.

At the same time, OP's emotional dependency on their lover deepened, seemingly encouraged by him. He expressed satisfaction with OP's accommodating behavior, enjoying being the center of their world. OP's life revolved around him, fulfilling his desire for dominance.

In August, in-person schooling resumed, complicating communication between OP and their boyfriend during the one-hour commute. His moodiness intensified with diminishing text exchanges. Juggling practical classes strained their dynamic further. Despite continuous efforts to appease their significant other, he persisted in making OP feel inadequate.

In October, OP temporarily left school, a move approved by their boyfriend but worsening OP's depression. Expressing hopes of resuming studies in 2023 and turning to reading for solace, OP faced hostility. Enthusiasm about studying was met with dismissive comments, prompting OP to abandon reading the chosen book.

As time passed, the turbulent relationship began to settle. Devoting all time to him brought contentment, and adapting to please him became second nature despite self-doubt. OP believed this transformation was positive, fostering happiness.

Feeling indispensable, OP thrived on the man's claims of chronic illness and depression, believing they played a crucial role in his emotional well-being. The abuse manifested differently—no screams or harsh names, but a manipulation through sadness, whining, and moping. A pattern emerged: OP would lift his spirits, finding joy in being needed.

From November 2022 to June 2023, the long-distance relationship appeared stable, with daily declarations of love, shared activities, and constant communication. However, intermittent arguments also surfaced, primarily driven by the man's paranoia and struggles to align their expressions of love.

In April 2023, a seemingly perfect situation crumbled during a prolonged six-hour argument over some opinion OP had. Despite attempts at reconciliation, the fundamental issue persisted, leading to a decision to ignore it, possibly contributing to subsequent events.

Their routine continued with ups and downs until mid-July, when OP embarked on a trip to recharge. The man exhibited moodiness about the trip, and despite an offer for internet-free cabins, the narrator chose connectivity, unknowingly benefiting the man.

An Unexpected Turn of Events

On the fifth day of the trip, the man claimed a friend was in town for a gaming tournament and went to a hotel. OP, using the Life360 application due to their boyfriend's paranoia, noticed a peculiar turn of events.

The man's communication became sporadic, and he claimed to stay at the hotel overnight. When OP couldn't reach him, a sense of unease set in. The following morning, the man asked if the numerous calls were due to an emergency, but OP remained silent.

On July 23, the man dropped a bombshell: he was moving to New York for a job teaching music, supposedly arranged by a friend. Gaslighting attempts ensued, claiming prior discussions about New York, though none had occurred. Fearful of being labeled overbearing, OP feigned happiness for the man.

The next day, July 24, the man declared an abrupt departure to New York, citing housing constraints. Suspicious, OP questioned if this move marked the end of their relationship.

In response, their boyfriend dropped another bombshell: "[No], I just don't have the energy I used to. One of the reasons I'm moving is that I need to be in a place where I have access to a better hospital. My body is failing. I have lymphoma." OP's world crumbled, and days were consumed by tears, worry, and emotional turmoil.

In the subsequent months, life turned into a whirlwind. Back in school, OP excelled despite personal turmoil. Meanwhile, the man's communication dwindled post-move to New York. He stopped using Life360, rarely expressed love, and had brief, interrupted calls. OP observed pictures of his seemingly comfortable life, including a rescued gray cat.

During a mentally taxing semester, despite suspicions, OP ignored red flags for sanity. Believing the man's cancer treatment and teaching job claims, inconsistencies were dismissed. Uncertain about the cancer's stage, doubts lingered despite explanations for the lack of visible effects from chemotherapy.

A Startling Revelation & OP's Reaction

For four months, self-deception prevailed, with OP buying into elaborate lies about illness, teaching, and care by a friend named "Roger." Despite acceptance, an underlying anticipation of reckoning persisted.

On November 24, the reckoning occurred. A crushing revelation arrived via text while OP was at school: a 252-word confession from the man revealing a new romance, admitting to lying about having cancer. "I would like if you respect this and don't try to contact me. I really need it," read the concluding sentence. Swiftly blocking OP everywhere, their boyfriend left them in pieces.

Amidst despair, the aftermath involved tears, chain-smoking, and futile attempts to make sense of the shattered narrative. OP, driven by a relentless need for answers, uncovered a potential lead—the mysterious friend "Roger" on social media.

After days of contemplation, OP messaged "Roger" to confirm or deny their ex's elaborate lies. With nothing to lose, the truth-seeking message was sent. Roger responded, unraveling the puzzle. OP's ex had moved in with another girl in July, a previously undisclosed detail. Confirming suspicions, the ex had met this girl at a hotel on July 22, exposing a web of lies and revealing him as a pathological liar.

Discovering the ex's new relationship mirrored OP's traumatic experience, pushing the new girlfriend to the brink of insanity and acting as catharsis. This shattered the idealized image of their ex. The truth emerged—he wasn't the love of their life or the perfect person they believed.

Still, despite the destructive relationship, OP's love remained pure. While acknowledging the pain, they found solace in realizing the ex had lost more. The unconditional love, though misplaced, defined OP's first real relationship.

Despite emotional turmoil, OP chose not to harbor hatred but viewed the ex with compassion. The reasons behind his actions remained elusive, prompting the need for answers. In reflection, OP wished for the ex's well-being, driven by past love. The desire to understand his motivations diminished, shifting the focus to personal healing.

Acknowledging the ordeal, OP extended gratitude to those who read their tumultuous story. A plea was made to the unknown girl who may have crossed paths with the ex, encouraging her to reach out. Whether she did or not, OP affirmed her worth and advised against letting the ex's actions break her spirit, drawing from personal experience.

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