Am I Wrong for Checking My Husband's Dashcam Footage on His Car without His Consent?

Caught in a web of suspicion, a wife grapples with the morality of checking her husband's dashcam footage after their beloved dog mysteriously goes missing. What she discovers leaves her questioning not just her husband's actions but the very foundation of trust in their relationship.

In early August 2023, an anonymous female contributor posted her story in the "AITA" subreddit, hoping to gain some clarity and advice about her dilemma. The Original Poster (OP), a 34-year-old woman, lives with her 37-year-old husband and their seven-year-old daughter.

OP and her daughter had recently embarked on a brief out-of-state trip, leaving her husband behind due to work commitments and the responsibility of looking after their dog. On the final day of their journey, a distressed call from the husband revealed that their dog, Ellie, had gone missing. He explained how Ellie bolted away in a park, disappearing into the bushes, leaving him unable to locate her.

According to OP, Ellie was a petite canine, a nearly 13-year-old mini poodle mix, who remained spry and active. However, it was highly uncharacteristic for her to wander off, which made OP all the more suspicious about his mysterious disappearance. Despite harboring doubts, she opted to trust her husband's account, acknowledging the shared grief she, her daughter, and he experienced over the disappearance.

Infuriated by this revelation, OP confronted her husband.

When OP returned home with her daughter, she found that her husband appeared remarkably composed, in stark contrast to the lingering distress experienced by them. "Ever since the pandemic, my husband started working from home and he has always been annoyed at how much attention we gave Ellie and hated how Ellie begged to sit on our laps and his while he worked," recalled OP.

A few days later, a call from an animal rescue organization in a distant neighboring state delivered unexpected news–Ellie had been located. Answering the call on their seldom-used landline, OP discovered that the rescue agency had contacted them through the microchip information.

Upon sharing the news of Ellie's recovery, the husband's response struck OP as oddly blunt and insincere, "[That] is great, I am so happy." Puzzled by the circumstances, she expressed her concern about Ellie covering such a great distance. In response, the husband suggested that someone might have stolen and then abandoned their dog, a notion that seemed implausible to OP.

During the husband's absence, while he was out drinking with friends, OP took matters into her own hands. Copying the videos from his dashcam, she discovered a disturbing truth. The footage revealed that he had transported Ellie far out of state, callously dropping her in front of his car, simulating a game of fetch with a frisbee-like object, and driving away, leaving her behind.

Infuriated by this revelation, OP confronted her husband. In a feeble attempt to justify his actions, he claimed to have left Ellie in a field, envisioning a supposed opportunity for her to find a better life on a farm. The confrontation escalated the following day when he, displaying anger, rebuked OP and their daughter as if in retaliation for her breach of privacy in viewing the dashcam footage.

OP's story gained significant traction, with commenters unanimously deeming her "NTA." One user expressed shock and sympathy, asserting that OP was not in the wrong. They condemned the husband's actions as "sick and cruel," emphasizing the gravity of leaving an innocent animal to die. They recommended therapy for the husband's apparent insecurities and labeled him a "pathetic excuse for a man."

In response, OP affirmed their lack of trust in the husband and indicated an intention to consult a lawyer soon, acknowledging potential complications due to significant income disparities.

Another commenter echoed the sentiment that OP was not at fault and suggested outright divorce as a response to such a betrayal, emphasizing the profound importance of dogs as family. The commenter drew parallels to cheaters using similar tactics when caught. OP confirmed they were already contemplating divorce in response to this betrayal.

A different user expressed shock and horror at the husband's actions, advising OP to run. They highlighted the danger, suggesting that if he was willing to drive out of state to dump the senior dog, he might escalate to more severe actions, even implying potential harm.

The commenter recommended moving the dog to a friend or family's place immediately. In response, OP confirmed that the dog was already at her parents' place, which made her husband livid. Despite his protests, he insisted that his actions were for the dog's benefit.

Yet another user questioned the husband's inappropriate behavior towards a seven-year-old, emphasizing the need to reconsider the relationship if the child is not his own. They criticized the husband's jealousy of a 13-year-old dog and described him as someone who "super sucks."

OP corroborated the commenter's perspective, revealing the husband's longstanding annoyance with her daughter's closeness to the dog. Furthermore, OP highlighted instances of the husband making sexist remarks about the daughter's relationship with her father and implied resentment over the daughter's affection for the dog.

Do you think OP was wrong to check her husband's dashcam footage in his absence? How would you handle the situation if you were in her place?

Click here to read another story about a woman whose boyfriend's son scared her three-month-old daughter on purpose, leaving her with no choice but to take action.